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ST. PATS SPECIAL 6-B
THE CELTIC CONNECTION » MARCH 1992
MR. O'NANYMOUS
An Empty Glass on St Patrick's Day
There I was, sitting in the kitchen, day-dreaming about emigrating to North America — Canada in fact. The only people on my mind were the likesof The James Gang,Buffalo Bill, Sitting Bull, Geronimo, as I was always impressed with Hollywood's version of America.
I was only 17 at the time and me ma was horrified at the mention of emigrating. "Ya only have two years left till yer out of yer time, and besides an awful lot of mur-dors go on in them foreign places." It goes to show you the difference in our taste in films: Ma watched too many gangster pictures and me, an overdose of cowboy and indian flicks.
Anyway, it was about a week before "Paddy's Day" (St. Patrick's) — Saturday afternoon — when in walked Da; it distracted my thoughts as he went right to his chair by the fire and sat, with his coat still on and his newspaper in his pocket.
He sat, staring into the fire and never said a word. I looked over at him and noticed a few things weren't quite right. He was as white as a ghost, shaking a lot, his eyes looked wild in his head, and what really took me by surprise was the fact that he was sober.
I had never seen him very often in
a d ry state; Da was very fond of 'the gargle'(a few pints). Ma sat down in her chair at the other side of the fireplace with her auld apron on as usual (I'm pretty sure she slept in it!).
Before she had time to say anything, I caught her attention; we looked at each other, both with the same thought—something was up. Ma, looking back at Da, asked "Is there something the matter with ya?" (pause), "will I get ye a couple of large ones?" (bottles of stout). No response. She was talking to a stone wall.
A couple of minutes elapsed when all of a sudden Da got up, and walked around the kitchen looking at the walls, the furniture and the floor raving, "Where's all this dust coming from?" Ma jumped up "What dust?" looking at me, Ma continued "Is he going quare on me or what? I cleaned this house from top to bottom this morning, didn't if"
Of course with all the day-dreaming I did that day, the house could have collapsed around meand I wouldn't have noticed a thing. I jumped up and said "Yes Da, she didr
Not satisfied, he pulled the newspaper from his pocket, unrolled it, held it out flat and roared "What in the name of Jaysus
SHIHKOEISD!
ALBERT MANSON
2767 COMMERCIAL DR.. VAN.. B.C. VSN ACS 455 <K BROADWAY. VAN.. RC VSY 1R4 (LICENSED)
TEL 872-1688 TEL 872-8866. 872-8877
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YUKON IRISH CLUB
P.O. Box 5082 Whitehorse, Yukon, Y1A 4S3
Contact: Robin Walsh (403) 668-7816
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Reg'd
CARRAIG BOOKS
Books about the Irish in Canada, especially Quebec: Grosse lie Gateway to Canada - O'Gaiiagher Voyage Of the Naparima (pub. as Famine Diary in Ireland) Irish for a Day - Schmitz
Mail or phone orders. Check or money order. No credit cards, please. Write for price list. Tel: 418-651-5918
P.O. Box 8733 Ste. Foy, Quebec, G1V 4N6 -
is this?" Ma looked athimstanding in the middle of the kitchen floor— I could see the fright in her eyes — "Are you all right, or are ye going daft man?" "Daft my arse!" he replied, taking his other hand and brushing off what was on the paper and then shaking the rest of it in Ma's face. "Do you think I'm mad or something?" he asked. Of course, there was nothing on the paper.
Then, all of a sudden, he was himself again, not knowing what had taken place minutes before. He noticed the paper in his hand and went back to the fireplace and sat down. Ma asked again "Will I get you a few bottles? Staring at the fire, he just nodded. Off I went for the messages (a few bottles).
When I got to the pub, the owner, Tim Young called me aside, "Is your father all right?" Knowing what had just happened at the house, I asked why. He said, "Well, he's not himself. Your auld fella was complaining about his pint being dusty. He came in around noon, sat at the bar and ordered a pint. He looked at it and said half the head on it was full of dust. At first I thought he was kidding, but when he kept it up,I knew he wasn't right. Anyway, what can I get ya, young one?" I got the three large bottles and just as I was leaving he called me, "wait a minute". He called me over and slipped a baby Powers (4 ozs. Irish whiskey) In the bag and said he, "That should fix him up".
When I got home, Ma was waiting. "Jaysus, I just got him up the stairs. He s gone quare altogether. After ye left he had another fit. Hestarted complaining about 'snow' in the house. Idon'tknowwhatl'mgoing te do."
Well, I'll tell yis, from that day on, it got steadily worse. Itookaweek off work and baby-sat him, going through his nightmare with him. The snow turned to spiders, earwigs, cockroaches and outside in the fresh air everything mutated. We had cats, rats, elephants and monkeys swinging on railings.
My God, the whole week without sleep. But I did enjoy the madness in a way. From convulsions of laughing to hysteria. Through it all I killed everything for him. Then it was time for "Doc Holliday" to commit him for a rest in the nut
house and hang him out to dry. That was a week later on Friday, the eve of Paddy's Day, the first time I ever saw me Da with an empty glassonsuch an event. Mine too, for that matter. I slept for a week after that one!
I'll never forgetMr. Youngwithhis cure (the baby Powers). That's the best medicine I've ever seen
Erescribed for the DT's but sure, Ir. Young couldn't have known what was to take place.
God bless the Irish! When you're out there on the seventeenth, don't drink and drive and enjoy your gargle (the pints) in moderation. What ever ya do, don't let your pint turn to "dust"!
Yours truly, Mr. O
Self-Selected
Strivers of the World
Former U.S. Congressman Bruce Morrison was in Ireland recently on a private visit and attended the presentation of Morrison visas to another batch of emigrants at the U.S. Embassy. Mr. Morrison, who was largely responsible for the legislation which permits the granting of visas, said that those who decided to emigrate in these times were "the self-selected strivers of the world".
Would be emigrants are advised "If you have not yet received notification that your application for a Morrison visa was successful, you can safely forget about it this year. The U.S. State Department has confirmed that all such notifications were sent out a few weeks ago."
Liam Ferrie
mm
A Traditional English Pub.
Featuring British Cooking. A Wide Selection of British and Irish Ales to choose from. Sing-along Piano Bar nightly (Mon. - Sat). Happy Hour Mon. - Fri.. 4 - 6
When visiting Edmonton be sure to visit
The
SHERLOCK HOLMES PUBS.
Patrick Devaney, Owner Operator
(Pat is from Ballinasloc, Co. Gahvavl
OLD ENGLISH PUBS
Rice Howard Way • Downtown • 4-26- 7784 •Bourbon Street • West Edmonton Mai! • 444-1752
The
WINNIPEG IRISH ASSOCIATION
216 Princess Street Winnipeg, Manitoba (204) 943-0176
Come and enjov
St. Patrick's Celebrations
in the club rooms March 14, 1992 8 p.m. The Executive wish all our members and friends a Happy St. Patrick's Day
Hugh Mawhinney President
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