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195 Richmond S,. Wさ
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FIRST REXDALE PLACE 155 REXDALE BしVD. SUはE 406 REXDALE, ONT. M9W 5Z8
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Gertrude Urabe
463 E^itUon Ave. W. Toronto, Out. MSN1A7 phone 489*8611
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479 Queen St. West, Toronto, Ontario M5V2A9
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THE NEW CANゅlAN
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ByiK)SEOCHI
• am what I am today de-spけe my parents' protestations anddire mis—hgs. lam a professional woman/lawyer brought up肪a daughter of Isselparents of an arranged marriage.
Growing up and making career choices Is a troubling time for all teenagers. So one can imagine the problem was further compounded with the conflict of <cultures.
My parents, like all Immi. grants, viewed America as the land of promise and wished for their children the mariy opportunities this country afforded. However, whenけ can16 to values and roles, they believed the Japanese way was the only way.
I remember my mother always impressing upon my 0/?eチc/7a〃 how to become a good wけe and mother. Whether she was cooking, cleaning or tending to other motherly duties, mama ta,ked about how a woman must joyfully carry our her responsi. biHt'旧s in pleasing her spouse and family.
Sometimes when I was asked to do a household chore, I would protest, "I don't want to be敗e o/7ee-c7/7s/7, I want to be like 0/7/7-由/7ノ' At that time, as my mother turned to my big sister and laughed, I didn't understand that, in their minds, as a girl.child, I had no choice in the matter.
Our family, like all other Japanese families on the West Coast, was evacuated to concentration camps during WW2. Papa suffered severe economic setbacks.ー-—
I recall the way he, wけh a sense of quiet dignけy, toiled in menial jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. He valued education and admonished us to do well in school and to be the best of all cけizens. At every
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chiance he told rtiy o/?〃.c/w7 to study hard and get a coレ lege degree and to be a professional. During those moments, r would chl. me In,"1 want to go to college, too."
Papa then in no uncertain terms let me know that he was talkin"o t>lg brother and not to me. He would say,"は Is not a woman' s place to go to college and to have a career." M細a would echo, "けyou go to college no one 'would ever marry you. Your life would be a waste."
Ironically, aけhough my parents made their views and expectations clear, I rejected theけexplicけadvice, and I instead responded to and was influenced by the implied message I often heard at my knee. Papa was a virtual one.man cheering section every time I came home from school and shared my trials and triumphs. When I did well scholastlcally, assumed leadership positions, or demonstrated athletic prowess, he would be so very happy. Papa was partにularly proud amy tThne I exhibけed strength of character in standing up for my convictions in a dけficuはsituation.
I often feけI was doingけall for him. He would praise me profusely, but then he wづuld lament,"け's too bad she didn't come wけh /f/V?famasノ' By that he meantけwas such a shame to waste these qualities on a girl.
Today I smile when I think of how my father, in an in-chrect way, provided me with motivation to strive. Studies indicate that women who seek ncm4raditionaトcareers had encouragement from their fathers. My papa unknowingly did just that.
Mama's worries that I would never marry were for naught. But today she per. sists that my husband needs a better ho u sewけe. She's right. I agree, and I need one too.
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TOSH瞧墨
MELLREALESTATELTD. 188 0'CONNOR卿VE SimrE505 TORONTO, ONT.
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80 9 Dan forth Av«.
Toit)nto Ph加e Store: 463>3426 Homr柳• 6293
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Mon.-Fri.12:00^2:30 5:00—10:00 Sat. 5:00-10:00 CloMd Sunday1& Hot id
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114 LA识D L>R LEASIDE. ONTARIO PHONE: 421-6016
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Kabuki Japanese Steakhouse 444 Yonge St" Toronto 597-,255
Septembers- 29,1984
60 Bloor West Lower Level 丁oronto 928*3365
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Mon. — Thurs.10 — 6 p.m. Fit10-7p.m. Sat.10 — 5 p.m.
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1^1Bloor St. W. Toronto. Out. 532^7
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