From the Yiddish of Shalom Aleichem
Translated by Hannah Berman
I arrived at Kassrillevka. by train� thank God, there is now a train going to it! It was in the spring, early in the morning, before prayers. Out-of-doors a little rain was dripping, which created a big, thick mud. At the station there fell uoori^Tie a whole band of house servemts, wi<h yellow beards, wearing yellow coats, and having yellow little tins on their yellow ragged caps.
"Uncle! Grand Hotel!"
"Hotel Francia, Uncle!"
"Uncle! Italia!" '
"Uncle! Portugalia!"
"Uncle! Terkalia! . ."
Having rushed through this band in peace, with the help of God, I fell into another band�a band of carmen in big top-boots and with long whips. This crowd almost tore me to pieces. One of them, a young fellow of great strength, tore the portmanteau out of my hand by force. I created a terrible uproar: "My manuscripts! My papers!" So, two other carmen defended me, wanted to take me to themselves, and there arose a squabbling amongst them. Ultimately I snatched up my portmanteau, slipped out of their hands and went off to the tramcars.
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"Over here, little brothers, over here! Five kopeks a drive! Five kopeks a head! From here to the end of the Belefel street, only five kopeks, Five kopeks a man!"
It was the conductor Who was shouting. A young man with a yellow little beard, His voice was guttural; and he Had a travelling-bag around his neck, and a button on his cap. Beside him stood another man, a Jew in a ragged coat and with a whip, the driver of the tram-car. Both were pointing to a sort of a little tent which was leaning a little on one side, and the windows of which were smashed. This was called the "car." By the long pole a little white horse was harnessed. His head drooped in a doze.
"Only be careful," said the conductor to me, "so that you may not get entangled there. There is a bit of board missing in the floor. They are repairing the tram-car."
I seated myself, carefully, in the tram, put my portmanteau beside me and waited. It was rather cool. I beat one foot on the other.
"Conductor," said I to the young man, "shall we ever go, or not?"
"Please God, with the help of God!" the conductor answered.
"You hand over a bit of tobacco, Reb Yossel!" said the driver to him.
"Can't you smoke what you have, Reb Kasreal!" interposed the conductor. "Good tobacco may give you a headache, God forbid!"
"Put on no airs, you rascal and hand me over the tobacco," said the driver.
And the conductor and the driver both rolled cigarettes.
"When shall we move off?" I asked the conductor again.
"To-day," he answered, quite calmly.
I waited and waited until, by degrees, several passengers entered the tram. First came a little Jew in a ragged jacket made of some sort of fur. It was difficult to determine what animal had worn it. If I were to say it was a fox, it was too white. If I were to say a cat, it was too red. After the Jew in the ragged fur jacket there entered another Jew without a fur jacket, a frozen man, poor thing. lie looked about him on all sides, sighed and looked for a seat, and sat down in a corner by the door. After the frozen Jew there entered a basket of apples, and immediately after the basket, a woman wrapped up in three shawls. All three were thread-bare, and one could see that she was cold, poor thing
"Get along, Reb Kasreal! Move on!" said the conductor to the driver. He whistled, and the tram-car moved. It went a few paces, and stopped. The little door of the car opened, and a head appeared.
"Does Moshe happen to be here?"
"Which Moshe?1" asked the conductor.
"A young man in a cap!" answered the head.
"He  assists asked Yossel.
"At an iron-monger's, head.
"1 know him," said whistling to the driver Reb Kasreal!   Move on!"
And we drove on.
"A ticket!" said the conductor to me. "Somehow you do not seem familiar to me. It seems you do not belong to this place. Do you intend to stay here long? Can I take you to a lodging, not a hotel, but a clean place? No insects. And I will show you a place at which you can eat cheap, and good food." I thanked him and told him I had friendshere. "Who are they ?" he asked. "Where are they and what is their business?" I invented a name for him and got rid of him. He left me alone and went over to the Jew in the fur jacket and told hira to buy a ticket. The Jew in the fur jacket thrugged his shoulders.
at   an  iron-monger s:
answered the
the
conductor, 'Get along,
"Do I know? Have I got even a groschen to save my aoul?"
"This is the third time this week that you are travelling without a ticket," said the conductor, annoyed.
"Well, and shall I go on foot because of that? Or shall I go and steal for you?" answered the Jew in the fur jacket, also annoyed.
The conductor waved his hand and left him. He went to the; frozen Jew, who had no fur jacket. The other pretended to be asleep.
"Just listen.   Excuse me.   A ticket."
The Jew pretended that he did not hear. The conductor flicked him on the nose.
"Reb Jew!   Excuse me.   A ticket."
The Jew pretended that he was waking up out of his sleep and rubbed his hands together.
"A ticket," said the conductor to him again.
"I don't hear!" said the Jew, beating his hands together.
"What good is to me your not hearing?" said the conductor, harshly. "Be so good as to hand me over five kopeks and here is a ticket for you."
"Hush! hush!" said the frozen man to him. "Why so much temper? Just look at him. He thinks he is somebody."
"Don't make any fuss," said the conductor, "and hand over the five kopeks."
"Well, well!" said the frozen man. "You will let me off the five kopeks, I think."
"I will let you off, with my troubles!" said the conductor.
"You may keep them in health," said the frozen man. " [ have enough troubles of my own."
"I will ask you to excuse me, hut you will please get off the car." (To the driver):   "Reb Kasreal, stop!"
Kasreal the driver stopped the car, and was really delighted, as of course, was the little horse.
"Excuse me. With the right foot!" said the conductor to the frozen man. The frozen man sat there, stamping his feet, rubbing his hands but without stirring from the spot.
"Are you waiting for honour!" said the conductor. "Do you want me to take hold of you by the collar of the coat, and fling you out? If only the ticket-inspector arrives, you will get it hot.   Reb Kasreal!   Move along," said
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he to the driver. And the tram-car went on.
"There is no truth in the world!" said the woman of the apples, all of a sudden. "In what way is that Jew worst? than the other Jew who may travel without a ticket, whilst he may not? Is it because the other wears a fur jacket, whilst this man goes naked? Will he use a piece out of the seat, or what? ' You think they will get a golden tombstone over you?
Continued on page 12
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