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THE CANADIAN JEWISH REVIEW
SEPTEMBER 13. 194�
MARRIAGE AND COMMON SENSE JEWISH TRADITIONS
By Rabbi Samuel Glamer
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The letter was from the Reverend Father Edgar Schmiedeler, director of the Catholic Conference on Family Life. "Any student ef social history," he wrote, "will recognize that the world owes much to the Jewish famliy." And many other students of family life join with this noted Catholic authority in recognition of this great Jewish contribution to civilisation, which may well be regarded as one of the Jew's greatest contributions. Especially today is the importance of the family most clearly apprehended.
The family is probably the most basic unit of all society. Historically speaking, it is the first social unit and likewise the first social institution to emerge in man's evolution as a social being. In the life of the individual, it is the family that provides for the growing child the first training ground in those attitudes and habits of conduct which will determine his success or failure in adjusting to his fellow human beings throughout his life.
It is no little cause for alarm, therefore, that to many serious students of the problem it appears that marriage and the family are today facing a crisis. It would seem that some of the deepest foundations of family life, as we know it, are crumbling. And we who observe it stand aghast at the picture of confusion and chaos which we behold, aggravated no little, of course, by the war and all that it has done to disrupt normal family living. And in striking contrast to all this is the pic-tore of marriage and family life which Jewish tradition presents, so that we may well turn to that tradition again for light on some of the problems which face us to-
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we cannot fell to be*
childhood with a clear knowledge of the physical facts of birth and marriage as well as of their spiritual aspects. In the home, no attempt was made to shield the child from a knowledge of any part of life. And in his studies, toe*�especially those of the boy, since ihry dealt so much with Jewish law and custom�all phases of life were freely and frankly commented upon and discussed.
We recall in this connection that one of the most popular books of the Bible was the Song of Songs, which contains without doubt some of the frankest love-poetry in world literature. Read particularly during the Passover festival, in the early spring�the season of love par excellence�it contains an exquisite blending of frank sensuality with those romantic and spiritual elements which make for perfect love and marriage.
The frank recognition of the sex impulse as a force for either good or evil, depending upon the path into which it is directed, brought about an emphasis in Jewish teaching on the desirability of early marriage. As a matter of fact, we know that in some places during the Middle Ages no man over twenty or under sixty was permitted at all to reside without a wife. As a result, prostitution was practically unknown in Jewish life from very early times, when it was denounced as a feature of paganism, to quite modem times.
Within marriage, absolute fidelity was expected of both husband and wife. The double standard made itself felt only in comparatively recent times, by assimilation from the non-Jewish environment.
Although the Jewish family life tfce
of with the at
rabbis, in commenting on the second chapter of Genesis, point out, that when God noted: "It is not good that man should be alone," He created woman as a "helpmeet for him," which they explain to mean "his helper" and yet "his equal." Their teaching on this point can best be shown by a very brief statement: "A man's home u his wife," "A husband must love his wife," these sages taught, "as much as himself, and he must honor her more than himself."
Wife-beating was treated as a crime, as were other types of maltreatment. The Talmud says: "Thy wife has been given to thee in order that thou mayest realize with her life's great plan; she is not thine to vex or grieve. Vex her not, for God notes her tears."
One wonders if there would be any divorce or separations and broken homes today if such consideration as this were generally practiced between marriage partners.
We are told by students of marriage problems today that, next to sex, the greatest cause of marital unhappiness is financial. Long ago our Jewish teachers recognized this to be true. Over and over again they emphasized the need for a marriage to be founded upon a sound financial basis, and they even introduced certain stipulations along these lines into the marriage contract. "A man should first build a house," they taught, "then plant a vineyard, and only after that marry."
In later times, however, econq,-mic conditions became increasingly worse for the Jew. Uprooted from his homeland, he was denied all normal economic opportunities and rights. Therefore, in order that early marriages might still be possible, the parents of the young people eame to their aid. Especially was this tree of the bridVs
for everything
Bend forwards ... backwards... sideways ... with perfect freedom of movement, conscious that curves are controlledjby a foundation garment that fits your figure with complete comfort. Your corsetiere will gladly advise you which LoGant girdle and Nature's Rival Alphabel Bra ("A", "B" and "C cup sizes) will best suit your requirements.
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The Jewish community, too, made provision for supplying dowries toi orphans and penniless girls.
In our own times, we find economic uncertainty, war-time conditions and a continually lengthening educational process, with the prolonged dependency that it entails, so that many young people find themselves unable to marry as they long to and normally should, because of financial considerations. The wisdom of such a provision for parental and communal help as the Jews worked out becomes, then, immediately apparent.
At a time when many marriages are the result of ill-considered haste, of drinking parties, care-leas escapades and war-time pressures, one can appreciate the re-one ' the
As?..a period ef
aetata the"* selection of
the marriage partner. Eugenic considerations, which we hear so much about nowadays, were not neglected. (Incidentally, there was also provision for birth control in marriage, under certain circumstances, for eugenic and hygienic reasons). In view of the fact that, during the Middle Ages in particular, matches were made by the parents and not by the young people themselves, the selection of the marriage partner was determined largely by prudence. However, such factors as learning, respectability and good character were always emphasized far above mere wealth.
Jewish tradition, however, recognized that in spite of all these precautions and admonitions, some marriages would still prove unsatisfactory, for any of a number o# rsjej^j^^'J^aRsjytjMc that torj^Jn- ->-s�s�i - of ^^saf*a�S^wUd m ' those eases be the best solution for all concerned, including society
which suffers through the maladjustment of its members, Jewish law provided for easy divorce and encouraged remarriage.
This article is from Liberal Judaism.
Tools and machines valued at more than $362,000 have been sent this year by CRT, Organisation for Rehabilitation through .Training, to its schools and workshops for Jews throughout the world, including the displaced persons camps in Germany. Most of the equipment is sold on credit to individual artisans and cooperative groups whose payments will go into a revolving fund for the same purpose. Not included in the total figure is the supplied to repatriated, craftsmen returning to their****** ; countries or t^e iis|t49a)H)M
Equipment i �ii ^.
lathes, sewing and knitting m chines, motors, sad other facilities
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Scxiptnres on, the and wife is to typify God's relation to His world. Our sages saw nothing, cheapening or incongruous in a comparison of man's love of God to that of a man for his wife. The Hebrew name for the wedding ceremony was "Kiddu-shin," which means "eanctifica-tion." Marriage was regarded as essentially a religious sacrament.
It is noteworthy today, when the home is all too often the mere ghost of what a home should be, that to the Jew his home is a temple. In connection with the Sabbath eve meal, for instance, there is a pleasant conceit that the table is an altar; the food thereon a sacrifice to God; that the father of the family is the high priest, and the other members of the family, are all lesser priests assisting with the sacrificial ritual. Yet it would be a mistake to infer from this that marriage, to the Jew, was ever a sacrament in the sense of a mystery. Nor, on the other hand, was it regarded merely as a concession to the weakness of the flesh.
The Jew believes in the satisfaction of all legitimate appetites as a duty, provided that desire be directed into proper channels, for the good of both the individual and the group. Thus, Jewish marriage was founded upon a very clear and natural acceptance of the sex impulse as a constructive force tn life. Prudishnees never had any place in Jewish teaching.
Psychologist* tell us today that many marriages fail because the partners have never faced their own sexual natures. They are often completely ignorant of sex teehnfcroee and have no understanding whatsoever of the part which the sexual impulse must play in their Uvea. To pro-
of are now
and gxrid-undertaken in
Ret the Jewish boy and girt bvoeght ap from earliest
"Forest Fire-The Common Enemy'
The scream of a rabbit pierces the roar ol the forest fire as a tall spruce bursts into flame like an oil-sooJfceaTrag. A deer, wild-eyed with terror, buna from the undergrowth and makes fox the protecting waters of a small lake where other creatures of the wild, ^"j***jt>j all lesser fears, stand huddled together, shivering with fear of hre�their common enemy*
Crackling and hissing, its nrJTnnre line of windblown sparks reaching far nH^nd. the forest fire takes its terrible toll of wfld life and forest wealth. In its wake nothing is left but blackened tree-trunks and desolation.
A lurid picture? Yes, but a true picture, and one that is seen all too frequently in Canada's forest lands. Statistics show that out of 6,000 forest fires in Canada every year, only one in six owes its origin to natural causes (lightning, etc.) The rest are caused by human agencies, and can be prevented.
As a shareholder in Canada's natural wealth, every Canadian has a vital interest in conservation. And tkm is the concern ol all who interested in the continuance of national economy and oar future Parity, rather man the concern of a chosen few. The success of conserve* nonal measures depends upon the full support of all Canadian citizens.
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