Kabbalah class with Rabbi Feigelstock, 3655 W. 5th Ave., Wednesdays, 7:30 p.m. Call 275-0042 for information.
Jewish philosophy with Rabbi Ilan Acoca, Beth Hamidrash, Wednesdays, 8 p.m. Call 872-4222 for more information.
Torah . Empowerment for the Contemporary Jewish Woman, wifli Simie Schtroks, Wednesdays, 8-9:30 p.m., Centre for Judaism, White RocL Call 542-5454 for more information.
Vancouver Talmud Torah
adult education committee's weekly adult Talmud dass, at Rabbi Ross Singer's home, 8-9:30 p.m. Call 837-2700.
Thursday, Aug.31
Duplicate bridge at the JCC, Thursdays, 11 a.m. Call 257-5111 or e-mail seniors@iccgv.bc.
Adult Hebrew classes at Or Shalom, 7:30 p.m., Thursdays. Intermediate level. Call Frank at 872-1614 or e-mail Alan at amorinis@home.com.
JCC Shalom Dancers rehearsals, Thursdays, 7:30-10 p.m. New dancers welcome. Call Trudy at 241-0994.
Israeli dance classes at Har-El, 7:30 p.m. $5. Call 925-6488 for information.
Talmud study group at Beth Tikvah. Thursdays, 8 p.m. Call 271-6262 for information.
Torah Or- a textual study of the first Lubavitcher rebbe, with Rabbi Dubrawsky, Thursdays, 8 p.m., Chabad House. Call 266-1313.
Sunday, Sept. 3
•Beach Party with Beth Israel, Spanish Banks, noon. Includes sand castle competition, kite flying, volleyball, games.
Tuesday, Sept. 5
•The Jewish Genealogical Institute of B.C. meeting, 7:30 p.m., at Temple Sholom. Catherine Youngren reports on the international association's conference in Salt Lake City. Call 321-9870.
Judaism Ti
What kind of Jew am I?
GIL MANN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH BULLETIN
Dear Gil:
At 26 years old, I had all but given up on "Ijeing Jewish" after many attempts to find a synagogue I could afford to join. Synagogue dues were thousands of dollars a year and, at the time, I was supporting my husband and daughter. We did find a synagogue that gave us a financial break.
I would sit in the Conservative service but not grasp anything. My husband grasped everything but was going more for me. We quit the next day. This was a low point for me. As a daughter of non-religious Jewish parents, I deeply wanted to feel connected and leam more about my Jewish birthright We finally moved to a smaller city. I decided to try one more time.
Even though my husband is still without income Qie is a law student), every congregation in town is fairly aflbrdable and eager to have us as members. We've lived here two years now and I am terrified to commit.
I don't know what I am? Conservative? Been there, done that Reform? Nope. Orthodox? We keep kosher now and deep down Fd like to be more observant, but it doesn't jive for my husband. It is imlikely that he will ever keep the Sabbath or adliere to the customs revolving aroimd the laws of family purity. Chassidic? We have made some very good friends from the Chabad House but we have the same problems as with the Orthodox movement not to mention that Yiddislikeit customs feel foreign to us.
When folks ask what I am, I usually say that I am a Jewish mother, wife and daughter. Sounds good, but I am really at odds Nvith myself I am floundering while at the same time trying to instil Jewish morals and values in my children and set a good example. I know it is important and I promised God I would. Both are enrolled in Jewish presdiool and Sunday school, which help teach and guide me as much as it does them.
My question is "Where do we go from here?"
N
Dear'N:
Thank you for writing! Reading your letter, I had to respect the seriousness with which you struggle with your Judaism. I also give you credit for not using your bad experience with dues and services as your ticket out of Judaism.
I have a simple question for you: Wliy are you working so hard to figure out what "kind" of
Jew you are (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, etc.)?
Personally, I don't define myself by any of these labels, nor do I use adjectives like "good" or "bad" Jew. I consider myself to be a serious Jew. This is a term I have written about before that I borrowed from Dennis Prager. He defines a serious Jew as a person who wrestles with their Judaism. To his definition, I add the word "actively" wrestles with their Judaism. To me, this means "doing things" with respect to Judaism, not just thinking about them.
My personal level of observance has undergone constant change and personal scrutiny since I was a teen. (I am now 43.) My level of keeping kosher has also fluctuated. Beyond this, my family belongs to a Conservative synagogue, but I also happily and regularly attend different synagogues of all movements. There are things in each movement that I like and dislike.
In sum, I am constantly looking for meaning and do not feel compelled to declare myself as anything other than a serious Jew. I feel very comfortable, in fact proud, of where I am Jewishly.
A key for me, my kids, and perhaps for you, is tliat I constantly seek to learn more about our incredible tradition, liistoiy and culture and how they can apply to a modem world. I obviously do not accept all I leam, but believe that never-ending education is a requisite. I also Uiink learning is fiin — that is a ftinge benefit.
From reading your letter, I surmise that one of the things you long for is a community of like-minded Jews. You might want to consider checking into some small study groups in your area where you could leam, socialize, eat, worship or all of the above. To learn more, try the Web site: Havurali.org.
In sum, you seem like an actively serious Jew to me. Good luck in your continued stmggUng and searching. I hope this helps you see things in a new light
Gil
Gil Mann is the author of How.to Get More Out of Being Jewish Even If: A. You are not sure you believe in God, B. You think going to synagogue is a waste of time, C. You think keeping kosher is stupid, D, You hated Hebrew School, or E. All of the above! He welcomes your comments and questions about ajiy other subject: write to DearGil@aol.com. To order the book ($17.95 US) call 1(800)304-9925.
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