JEWISH WESTERN BULLETIN
130-w. 5th
PLAIN TALK
(Continued from Page 1)
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it should be a happy union of two good families if I, having fallen in love with Miss Arbuthnot, should marry her.
Yet though my heart positively says Yes, my mind has been arguing the matter; Shall or shall 1 not marry Miss Arbuthnot?
I wouldn't mention such an intimate affair of my heart in this public way had not Professor Earnest Albert Hooton, Harvard anthropolist, brought the whole thing to the light of day. He, in Collier's wrote on the Jewish problem and gave what seemed to him the right answer: "There is but one remedy. That is the assimilation of the Jewish minorities by intermarriage. ... If we could get all of the Jews in this country to outmarry, it would leaven the lump of Gentile stupidity. . . , They would confer a great genetic boon upon mankind and at the same time would solve their own problems. Most of us could do with a little Jewish blood and intelligence. I am sure that I could and I think that a little of that strain, at the very least, would have improved the shape of my nose."
Thus Professor Hooton brought my problem to the mind of the nation so that it is no longer a matter between me and my heart and my mind. Professor Hooton as much as says, "Segal, you should marry Miss Arbuthnot for the sake of improving the generations of the Arbuthnots."
I hadn't thought of the matter in that way. I had merely considered the satisfaction of my own rapt heart. If I thought of posterity at all it was only to consider that Arbuthnots are all right and Segals are all right and a union of them ought to turn out all right.
But now Dr. Hooton brings it all horribly to my conscience and I am frightened. The Arbuthnots in all generations lived happier lives than Segals. What I mean to say is an Aibuthnot always had been just an Arbuthnot and as an Arbuthnot has I}een judged.
; Never has it been said to an Arbuthnot that he was disqualified because of his racial origin; every Arbuthnot v/as always allowed to stand on his own feet and be judged by his
own merits. _______ .„_.
,' Perhaps I should mention here ^and I bring it up with no lack of esteem for Arbuthnots) that an Arbuthnot was hanged in England in the 17th century. Yet this unhappy incident never has been brought up against Arbuthnots. . . "Yes, there's an Arbuthnot for you. That's the
. No, nothing
Friday^ July 21,.1939
SPORTING SPIEL
By HY NEMETZ
Apologetics
Well folks—here I am again after a month's absence. . . Since my worthy colleague Mr. Editor knows I am not one given over to the frolicings of spreeful spooners and although this bodacious brain-truster hints at my aspirations to become a moneyed
i).S. FOREIGN COM. SAYS BRITISH POLICY VIOLATES TREATY
MUSIC SWEET Ain> HOT
(Continued from Pace 3)
WASHINGTON (WNS) — Great Britain's proposed policy in Palestine was declared to be a treaty violation by a majority of the House Foreign Affairs Committee which urged the State Department to'protest the breach of a treaty under which Americans have invested more than $100,000,000 in the Holy Land. Representative Hamilton Fish, of New York, and 15 other congress-; men placed themselves on record by a statement in the Congressional Record which explained that the convention between the United States and Great Britain held December 3, 1924, had been repudiated by the new British proposal to restrict further immigration of Jews into Palestine
magnate via the naughty nags (at
$2.00 a throw) he ingeniously infers _ ______________________ _____......v.
that I had the misfortune to go the ' and to reduce the Jewish people in one way route via Sachem Brown's ; Palestine to a permanent minority
; status. The statement further explained that nothing in the con venation should be affected by any modification of the League of Nations mandate concerning Palestine unless
Capilanos cute but brazen lil bean-ball. . . tsk, tsk . . to think of such a thing ... anyhoo-'twas swell while it lasted . . . yessir!
Baseball Buffoonery
Appearing at Bob Brown's Athletic's"^^ modification had been assented Park this Friday is Al Schacht. a United States. That this
loony Litvack and Clown Prince of government had not been consulted Baseball. He gags for a living. Al P^^^^ proposed for Pal-
used to do his clowning with Wash- stressed, by the members
ington as one-half of the team of Fo'^^ig" ^^^^^ Committee
Schacht and Altrock. Later he per- concluded that "As members of formed for the Boston Red Sox. foreign Affairs Committee, we However, like most successful gents, respectfully request the State De-Al decided to go into business for. Partment to advise the British gov-himself. Starting his clowning early ernment that the contemplated ac-and continuing it late into the sea- ^^^'^^^ °"*' ^" ^« regarded
son, barnstorming from one end of a violation of the British-Amen-the country to the other and hitting convention and will be viewed
the jerk water spots (no refleceion disfavor by the American peo-
on Vancouver, of course) as well as P^®' the big league towns, Al picks up around twenty-five gee-gees per. S'not bad for mibehavin'. 'Cordin' to Jim Coleman of the Province and the Schacht's publicity department, he literally "wrote" himself into the big leagues. . . He bombarded Clark Grifflith, Washington Senator owner with letters like the following; "Dear, Sir: Enclosed you will find clippings of Al Schacht's work. Without ai
U.S. STRONGHOLD OF DEMOCRACY AGAINST FASCISM
GENEVA (WNS)—Charging that National Socialism is "the most rad-doubt he is the best pitcher in the ical, unrestrained and destructive re-International League (Signed) Just volution the world has ever seen," A Fan." GriflBith eventually bought Thomas Mann declared that not only him without knowing that 'twas the preservation of democracy but Schacht himself who had been the the preservation and guidance of the j persistent tipster. . , Al wasn't much Occidental cultural heritage rests on of a twirler in the big time hue his the United States. Speaking at the comic talents established him as one 114th commencement exercises of
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way of Arbuthnots" . like that ever has been said, for every Arbuthnot was condemned only for his own faults.
Arbuthnots kept on gathering honors and respect despite the Arbuthnot who hangs on the family tree. If this Arbuthnot was remembered at all people said, "Well, you can't blame all Arbuthnots for him."
Thus it has been for Arbuthnots in all their times. Nobody ever looked at their noses and even when an Arbuthnot nose was crooked no disabilities were hung on it. Arbuthnots were allowed to go wherever their talents directed them or they failed in accordance with their individual deficiencies. Arbuthnots are never sent away on account of their religion when they apply for jobs. The privilege of their birth enables them to write boldly, "Episcopalian" on the application blank. Arbuthnots have a religion that is approved by all the leading employers.
As I consider the privileged life of Arbuthnots and the biological consequences of marriage with an Arbuthnot my love Is dreadfully troubled. True, as. the professor suggests, I may impart to the Arbuthnot linex some of my better Jewish qualities-something of my intellect which, I understand, has been sharpened fine by the millstones which have been on my head for 2000 years; something of the social prophet I am said to have inherited; something of the compassion which, I am told, has come to me by reason of my own timeless suffering.
Yes, I may give all this to young Arbuthnot Segal, but I rnay also give him my nose which is somewhat aquiline. He will have my nose and people will surely say, "There's Jew in him." When he asks for a job they will look at his nose rather than at the bright mind he has inherited from me. . . "He looks like a Jew,"
eral, urgently human causes. If there is any lack in Goodman's story it is his failure to mention any of the "sweet" things which clutter the typical Ewien biography. '■• '
One may dislike the musical casuistry of Benny^ Goodman but one is moved to admiration for the straightforward smoothness with which he descritfes the development of his musical style, a combination of influence and original interpretation.
And the chronicle of a cross-coimtry trip, playing in dance halls, night cluljs and auditoriums, htis none of the monotony of a time-table. It is made a good-humored, congenial story of incident, hardship and development. Whether it be Goodman completely or Goodman via Kolodin, the sheer earthiness, completely unaffected, of "The Kingdom of Swing," is as much to the lasting credit of this outstanding artist as any of the hot versions with which he has stirred the hands and feet of a nation's jitterbugs.
As for the artists whom David Ewen has tried to draw, Joseph Szigeti emerges with some sympathetic qualities, even though he too is buried in the unforgiveable treacle which Ewen can pour on even the most genuine personaUty whom he takes in hand. Mr. Ewen is a graduate of the English-Jewish press. It is not a tribute to that school that his pieces should all seem written for space. One must, of course, blame a system and not Ewen that he finds it essential to refer to the Jewish-ness of Szigeti. If complete background were his aim, it might have been profitable to inquire a little more deeply into the origins of Kreis-ler, though his racial background is completely unimportant in a consideration of his musical stature.
The beautiful format with which the pubUshers invest "Men and Women Who Make Music" gives added dignity to the stateliness of the miniature biographies. But' in the event that you are interested in writing, as in music, of tempo and originality and dynamics you will not want to miss reading Benny Goodman's "The Kingdom of Swing."
BX3HIND THE FOOTLIGHTS Ai^IB ON THE AIB By £ABL FOBIBMAN THE GOSSIPAL TBUTH
of Grifiith's most valuable assets.
Around Town
Noticed Seniors Bobby Lubin and Harry Halparin and Juniors Harry Aqua and Nathan Rothstein makin' a fair showing in the city public tennis tournaments . . . 'cordin' to one of the Y.M.H.A.'srs; two prairie players were needed to complete the Softball team slated for this year's Centre Park (prior to Anti-Defamation work) and one of our local meat-packers came through with the offer of providing steady work and paying travelling expenses for the two players up to Vancouver, which was a sporting offer considering business conditions at that time, don't you think? . . , We're anxiously awaiting the invasion of Vancouver by those roisterin' racers from down Spokane way. . . Tfiis'll be a great opportunity for Vancouver
Hobart College Dr. Mann said the real assault of National Socialism was against freedom, and that it owed its principal success to the fiction that it was established as a bul-
I wark against Communism. "It is entirely erroneous." he said "to assume that it is the function and intention
I of Fascism, or of German National Socialism, to protect private property and an individualistic economy."
DR. MICHAEL TRAUB
(Continued from Page 1)
for Palestine in Montreal with Dr. Traub as the guest speaker, and in which all Zionist groups participated, was one of the significant Zionist meetings in years in the Jewish community of Montreal. Dr. Traub was tendered a farewell Sport fans to see ye merrie motor dinner in Montreal by the National madcaps caroming around the bends Council of the Zionist Organization in their hi-powered racing machines, ^f Canada, at which he presented a The place-Con Jones Park; the report of his tour. Tributes in ap-
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time—some time this week. . . Softball Soft-Soap
With Shorty White, Alberta's twif-ler back in the game in good shape we're relookin' forward to a real stiniggle between Albertas (last year's champs) and Watkins Win-dam for the championship in the Centre Park League. As the teams stand: Watkins Wlnram are shading Albertas by one game, Merchants Linen are third, Forsts are fourth and Ski & Sport a perspiring fifth. Attendance in the words of Bob Smith is picking up while women's
preciation of his excellent work on behalf of the United Palestine Appeal were expressed by Mr. A. J. Frei-man, president of the Zionist Organization of Canada and Mr. S. E. Schwisberg, astern vice-president.
the employment manager will say, disregarding Arbuthnot Segal's PhD (cum laude) in chemistry.
Arbuthnot Segal will suffer anguish whenever he reads of some Jewish thief in the newspapers, because he will be at once aware what people are going to say. . . . "That's the Jew for you, they're all alike," they will say and Arbuthnot Segal, who had inherited my impeccable character as well as my nose, will be included in the sweeping indictment.
I can not inflict this on the happy Arbuthnots each of whom is blamed only for his own sins and who is respected in accordance with his own merits and is allowed to walk in the dignity of his own character and I travel as far as his ability lets him.
lacrosse on Tuesday nites accounts for all the disturbance in the vicinity of Fir and Broadway. . . . And ^peakin' of women, these Softball shorties (they shore pack a lot of durned dynamics) are holding a soft-ball dance at Fairmont Academy July 28th. Convulsions
I Well folks, 'tis the end of Sporting Spiel for another issue, hopin' to convince one and all (especially Mr. feditor, holidaying in Seattle) that We haven't seriously suffered from the amiable antics of Sachem Brown's Capilanos. . . . We remain as ever your Sporting Spieler. . . .
"Whatever you do—do it on the level." . .
4,000,000 LIVED IN PALESTINE IN ROMAN ERA
JERUSALEM (WNS-Palcor Agency) -Great significance was attached here to the assertion by Michae Aviyona, Superintendent of the Archives of the Palestine Archeolc^ical Museum that in the Roman Era Pel-estine was the home of four million inhabitants.
Since only just over a million persons now live here, the Yishuv finds in this report further justification of its contention that Eretz Israel holds great potentialities for continued Jewish immigration without necessity for any displacement of present populations.
Aviyona has been conducting his research on behalf of the Museum that John D. Rockefeller gave as a gift to the peoples of Palestine, and his report is just being published as an. article.
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401 REFUGEES CAPTURED BY BRITISHWARSHIPS
HAIFA (WNS-Palcor Agency)— Four hundred and one Jewish refugees, including; 265 women and children, were captured by a British warship near Nathanya and were brought to Haifa. The so-called illegal immigrants were caught aboard the steamer Ardikl, which was flying a Panama flag, before they had had a chance to attempt to land,
Government authorities informed officials of the Jewish Agency that the new arrivals would be released and transferred to the Jewish Agency's Immigrants' Hostel in this city. The Jewish leaders were also told' that the refugees would be released after completion of the necessary formalities presumably including the deduction of their number from the official immigration quota in accordance with the new immigration ordinance; I
Burns and Allen—oh, if you could only see them now—immediately after their current ciggie sponsor informed them that their program option wouldn't be taken up, came word that a new boss was waiting for them with open arms—and think of it, with a 1,000 dollar-a-week increase over their present wage. Most important of all, the new program offer means that, after a brush with Uncle Sam, George and Gracie are forgiven. . . Songstress Gertrude Nei-sen, our idea of a glamour girl, is sitting right over there at a table in Dave's Blue Room, sandwiched between Winchell and Bernie. She's going to do a musical comedy in London, sailing next week—we learn by reading her lips, ahem. . . Later, about 3 ayem, at the City Dump (that's a Greenwich Village night club) a transatlantic commuter assures us that Bebe Daniels and Ben Lyon (remember) are due back in the United States for their first home visit in three years.
CONVERSATION PIECES
IRVING BERLIN: "I can remember when restaurants paid Boris Thomashefsky fifty dollars a meal, just to come in and eat, so they could advertise, "The Great Thomashefsky eats here." . . GEORGIE JBSSEL: "The New York hotels are of two systems—The American Plan, or, the European Plan. Under the former, you can do something about lax service, but under the European Plan, you dare not complain." . . . BEN BteRNIE: "I like the new female fashions—they're nice dresses thejr almost have on!" . ,^JACK PEARL: "Ah! this younger generation. They come into night clubs like a lion— one drink—and they go out likie a light!"
CINEMA COMMENT
'Drums Along the Mohawk," a best seller, goes into film production at 20th-century Fox. . . Louis K. Sidney is the producer of MGM's Zieg-feld Follies". . . Buster Keaton will try the comeback trail in a postEiIgic' film piece called "Hollywood Cavalcade." ... PERSONAL FILE
Barry Wood, CBS radio singer, has been hanging around the network studios for months seeking a break on one of the bigger programs. A few Saturdays ago, he went to Atlantic City for his first vacation in: years and Lanny Ross of the "Hit Parade" became sick. They looked for Barry all over town to fill in, and> when he couldn't be located some^ one else got the opportunity to replace Ross! Clap hands. Beetle,' your boss, Phil Baker, will finally get off the air July 8th. . . . Harry Horlick, the old A and P Gypsy is' back at NBC. . .. You can hear him Fridays. . . There's a new radio quiz game in the offing labeled, "You Name It and Yau Can Have It" . . . looks like radio is going into its second childhood! Milton Berle mentioned something about his new ether show in preparation. He and a group of lesser comedians will be featured. Berle will start to tell a; joke—and if the jury of comics can't giiess the punch line answer — the person who sent in the quip gets some money. A sort of an "Information Please" with a funnybone added. It will be called "Stop Me If You Heard This One Before." You can address your protests to NBC. COLUMNISTS HOMEWORK
V/hat new song allegedly contain-ng double entendre lyrics will be purged by the radio song censors?
Where does one encounter a new cliche referred to as "Borscht So- < ciety?"
What will television do to revolutionize one of radio's most exclusive professions?
LABOR GROUP ENDORSES CHILD REFUGEE BILL
WASHINGTON (WNS).—A .spokesman for the Congress of Industrial Oi-ganization told a congressional committee that organized labor had no fear of an undue influx of foreign refugees resulting from legislation to permit the entry of 20,000 refugee children from Germany. Testifying in support of the legislation before thiB house immigration committee, John Brophy, national director of tlie C J.O. said the bill was "only a small token of our opposition" to what was going on in the Reich.
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