6 — THE BULLETIN — Thursday, September14.1978
Israelis divorce more, marry less
JERUSALEM — Israelis divorce more and marry less, according to a survey of the Central Bureau of Statistics.
The survey shows that in 1976 some 26,000 Jewish couples got married, compared to 29,000 who did so a year before/The number of divorces rose from 2,900 in 1975 to 3,100 in 1976.
According to the survey, the. average marriage period of the couples that divorced was eight years and half of them had children.
The survey also reports a rise in the number of illegitimate babies — 591 in 1976 compared to 72 in 1951.
Life expectancy in Israel is among
the highest in the world. Males reach 71.6 years arid females 75.4, the survey showed.
'Mazel Tov' marriage bureau established
AMSTERDAM A non-profit Jewish marriage bureau, "Mazel Tov," has been established by Rabbi Isaac Vorst of Amstelveen near Amsterdam, and Rabbi Hans Jacobs of Aihersfoort,. both ' Lubavitcher movement members, and a young couple who are social workers.
The bureau will cater not only to the Orthodox but also to non-Orthodox.
KisHON e
up
By EPHRAIM KiSHON
EGas • BOTTLED MILK
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EGGUTENSiLS MOH.. FBI. 11-7, SAT. 10-6
WE ALL HAVE our little weaknesses. Some people drink, some gamble, some chase skirts, some pants. My wife is fond of kittens. Not the pampered kind that wants to be strokeci all day and goes **prrr'' like an electric razor in love. No, she goes in for week-old strays mewing pitiably on street-corners. When the little woman catches sight of a poor little waif; like that, her heart melts, tears shine in her eyes likediamonds, she takes the orphan home and cares for it with endless devotion till it grows up to be an eight-day-old cat, thafs to say until the next morning, when she gets bored with it and tells her husband:
, "Why do i always have to - do everything ; myself?" Why do you never help?**
That's the way it happened with Pussy.
This particular bit of fluff got itself picked up one morning on the corner of Herzl and Bialik; Black and very thin it was, and playing merrily with its tail till it saw my wife, when it promptly lay down, started mewing pitifully and playing orphan. Next
the melts, the diamonds, the lot. Pussy was carried home tenderly and offered a saucer of milk — which she refused to touch.
The little woman was awfully worried: she hadn't picked Pussy out of-the gutter to have her starve to death in our kitchen, had she? Something had to be done fast. We racked our brains and then, on the verge of despair, hit on the brilliant idea that, of course, Pussy was too young to eat, she had to be fed from a baby-bottle.
That was easy, because we just then happened to have a baby in the house too — our second son. Amir
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' — and it followed that we had at least a dozen tyottles in the fridge, all sterilized and ready.
"Are you crazy?" asked the ^yo-man. "Feed a filthy cat from Amir's bottle? You go to the pharmacy and buy another bottle for Pussy."
"Not me," I said. "Fll look like a bloody fool."
I would too. I mean, a grown man, very respectable looking and that, coming into a pharmacy and saying, "May I have a baby-bottle for a cat?" I*d sound like a freak or something. On my way to the pharmacy I therefore resolved to hush up the bottle's true purpose, and just casually told our friendly neighborhood pharmacist: "One baby-bottle, please." "How's Amir then?" she asked. "Thanks. Weighs over 12 pounds already."
"Fancy that! Well, and what sort of bottle shall it b^": "The cheapest. .^"-^ : •
THERE WAS an ominous ence. The other customers drew / away from nie in disgust. "Tsk-tsk," said their glances, "a well-dressed fellow like that, wears glasses, drives a big car — and for his little baby he buys the cheapest bottle, Bah!"
The kindly smile on the pharmacist's face vanished as well:
"Suit yourself," she said. "Though these cheap bottles burst in no time."
The pharmacist shrugged and produced a large, array of bottles, ranging from burst-proof, jet-age, made-in-Britain miracles, to a miserable brownish affair that would make any decent infant sick.
"That one," I said with downcast eyes, "The brown."
At this point a fat lady standing next to me intervened. "Look, mister,'' she said, "I know it's none of my business, but still. Your baby is the most precious thing you have, right? So what I say is: save on anything else, if you must, but always buy the best for your child. I am speaking as a mother sir."
She was fat and I didn't like her. I asked about' prices. The super-bottles cost anywhere between IL35 and IL62; the brown wretch was only IL7,20.
"He breaks them all anyway," I whispered. "It'd be a waste of money to buy the expensive sort."
"Why should he break them?" the pharmacist asked. "If you hold him like this, see, with his head in the crook of your left arm, there's no way for him to break anything-"
I could just picture a bediapered Pussy reclining against my left arm.
"He's sort of restless, our baby," I explained. "He kicks. So may I have the brown, please?"
"I guess you don't feed him right, then," said the fat mother. "Or why should he kick? Have you got a nurse for himr
"No, I mean . . ."
"I'll send you one, she said. "A restless baby needs professional care. Wait, I'll give her a call right now and see if she's free."
THERE WERE less"^ than three
yards betweenmeahd the door, and if it hadn't been for those two big fellows standing there like so many rocks of Gibraltar, I'd have made a dash for it. Let Pussy hunt mice.
"You should be grateful to the lady," the pharmacist told me. "She's got four of her own and they're the, nicest, quietest babies you've ever seen. She'll gt you a first-class nurse and your little Amir will soon be cured of his bad habits." -
Amir is a perfectly serene and quiet baby,.niiivi you, He just lies on his back all day and only very occasionally comments: Glo-glo.
I still had a iflicker of hope that the nurse would be out; biit she was in.
"She could come ancf see you tomorrow," Fat Mama said. "Would 11 o'clock be all right?"
"No," 1 said. "We'll be busy then." "One o'clockr
"That's when I have my fencing lesson." "And your wife?" "She too." "One-thirty then." "We'll be sleeping." "Fourr "Still sleeping." '^Six?"
"We're having guests." "Eightr
"Going to the museum."
"Lissen!" Mama hissed at me, "Just seeing her won't cost you anything, if that's what's worrying you!"
The othercustomers seemed ready to strangle me with their bare hands. They shouldn't allow monsters like that to have babies, said their looks. Ma herself slapimed tiie receiver and turned her back on me.The pharmacists asked coldly: "The cheapest then, is it?"
I just nodded my head, quite beyond speech. Only let me.get out of here alive, I vowed, and I'll open a cat-orphanage.
THE PHAR^CIST gave me a glance full p0oafiiing and made a final attempt: ntlobk at this flimsy rubber nipple," she said. "Before you know it the hole will have gotten so large that baby may choke , . /'
By then I was^^warc b^npthing any more except a pounding in my head. ■■■r^-: - ' ^:
"No matter,'! I sna;rled, "We'll make anotfier baby." ' ^
That was the last straw. A middle-aged man ^approached me, shaking his fist in my face: "Listen," he shouted, "I don't know who you are but let me just ask you this: do you know ^hat they inake the;se cheap bottles for? They make them for feeding the cat!"
I felt my knees go weak. There's a limit to what a man can stand.
"All Tight,'^ I said hoarsely. "Give me the bpst. .. "
^ oiAiy-two pounds, please," announced the pharmacist and everybody breathed with relief. The bottle rd got was the British superstar, bust-age and jet-proof, and complete wifh feeding chart and two-year guarantee: -
The wife threw a fit when she saw it. "What's the matter with you?" she said. "Why did you have to piick the most expensive bottle in the shop?"
"Woman," I repli^aj "ru save on anything you like but not on kittens!" V-v'/'v;-"-'':
Come to think of it, who said a cat will eat but of a baby-bottle? What is it — a baby?
Translated hy Miriam Arad ' By arrangement with "Ma'driv"
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TEL AVIV - Israel has made more history in the military field. Eight women soldiers have been commissioned as ordnance officers at a graduation course ceremony in which one of them, Miriam Donitz, was honored as one of two excelling graduates.
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