By HARRY GOtDEN
THE ROAD TO STATUS
Minority groups In America live in paradoxes. The Jewish culture, for example, is. character-IsUcally Introverl. But the average gentile de-Bcribes the culture as extrovert. He will say Jews an^ loud, gregarious, ostentatious •and ubiquitou.s.
The unfriendly critics have usually described the Jewish temperament as, sensuous, the Chris-U?n as ascetic. But the Old Testament and the Jewish dietary and sex laws" are truly ascetic disciplines, the actual foundations of Anglo-Cal-vinisi Puritaiiisni.
The paradox arises and contest* with the . truth because there is a Jewish concern for good food, a fine home and-well-made clothing. These are not part of the Jewi.sh nature, insofar a."-ethnin group."; have natures, but part of the American nature, and the Jews who pursue them do .so because they want to reflect the environment in which they live.
•It behooves us to investigate this. John Crowe Ran.>:on said the point about paradoxes-Is not to rest in them but to resolve them. • » •
In most minority rulturcs we find that the
clr?;n- for good fond, a fmo Ivine and well-made liothps is not a Irait inherent in the minority but rather a more general trait, a trait of those who feel the need to prove themselves.
The Irish immigrants who settled on New Vork's West Side bought fancy curtains and carpets far beyond their means. It was so endemic among these immigrants that they lent the term "lace curiain Irish'' to the language "Shanty Irish" Is honest, "lace curtain Irish" h>'po('nt.ical.
The Negroes did the same things. Whjen the .Negro' status was a fixed, immutable de-ci.<iion that they were inferior. Negroes bought only the essentials. The traveling peddler sold them a clock, a wedding band and a mattress,
THE ORIGIN OF THE BAGEL
My friend, the philosopher and philologist. Dr. Frederick F. Fleicher of Woodland. Calif., cor. reels me on the origin of the bagel. The bagel originated in Vienna where it was first known Bs a "biiegel" which means stirrup. Thus were the fir.st bagels shaped and Yiddish, a language which Is .ba.'^ed on middle-high 14th century f.erman. metamorphosed the pronouncement from buegel to heiga! to baigel to bagel but the Jewish bakers changed the .-^hape from the stirnip to \he round circle it is today.
Most of the great table rolls did come originalVy from Vienna, including liie French brioche. Mane Antoinette brought the brioche with her' when she came to Paris. Before her marriage to Louis, French bakers were unaware of it, but when MariiB set up at Versailles the first thing 6he wanted was her Vienna kipfel", that half-moon del'loacy which had come to Vienna from the East when the Turks rcBched Vienna. Tlie Turks created the brioche to celebrate not only th^ir victory h\it their discoverj- of a new drink: coffee. Marie Antoinette simply showed the French bakers how to make it.
Salzsfangel is also Viennese as is the Vienna roll, once more familiarly known as semmel. The Kaiser .scmmel was created bv Franz Josef himself and it was .lust a little smaller than the ordinary semmel and had poppy seeds on top.
Getting back to the bagel, I suspect Jews developed an affinity for it out of their deep reverence for Franz ,,losef. The Galician Jews were
I DID IT
The CarMdraN J««yfsh News/ Friday, March 17, 196T . 3
-"7: " r^By MILTON BERLE
FROM COOLIDGE TO KENNEDY: IMADP THEM
But as the Negro changes his label, as ho approaches middle-class statiis, he buys the same things he sees the whites buy.
Thus we seo a Negro farnlly investing in a Cadillac when we kiiW^ they have fa;- more essential needs. To call this ostentation Is to oversimplify. It-is rathei- a pitifur thing, pitiful in that it needs to be understood with a tolerance most of Jis too rarely muster.
Minority groups live on the margins.of .society: Tliey- take theirjessons from the majority in ^eir ^or£~^ to progress to the center. They try- to 'provo themselves.
• #- •
The paradoxieal attitudes tinward__Jews manifest them5elve.^.^rlier because the Jewish Im-migrant.s speedly absorb the folkways of the ma.iority. Jews ab.sorbed American folkways almo.st completely within the span of a single generation. So fast is this absoprtion that Jews even tend to be more accurate in describing them tlian natives.
Immigrant boys were under no handicap in writing music about the South which satisfied the popular imagination: we have "Carolina Moon". ".Swanoe," "Waiting^ for the Robert ,E. Lee" and "Mammy" as obvious examples. The foremost anthologists of Southern folk songs are Jews.
This ability at accurate reflection is also evident in entertainment, recreation and sports. Tennis, golf, swimming, the Ryder Cup matches, the regattas, summer vacation trips, Jewish fraternities and .sororities incorporating the elab- .;;binet~-^xcept"for'secretary of orate rituals of pledging and initiation, the i gj^,,,^ ^.^^ ^ad flown to '
Thanksgiving Day turkey, the Invention of , ^^^j^, ^^j. important con-
Uncle Max. the Hanukkah Man. in imitation of , ,Qj.ence ~ was on hand. So were
The prominent role played by comedians at Washington's In* augural Ball underscores an oft-forgotten moral: Presidents of . the United States need the balm of comic relief just as badly as did, medieval khigs. Since our Constitution pro\ades.no Secretary of Gagridulture, the job of supplying jokes to make .Presidents smile has generally fallen to f few ^yhite H. se intimates and professio.ial comedians.
In the swirL of histor)', the O.brary of Congress has neglected ) catJilogue the jokes that have- "broken_iip" our Presl-deffS. To remedy this oversight I recentljoconvoked at Llndy's a roundtable of famous comics who have told funhy stories to Presidents and Presidential candidates all the way back to Calvin Coolidge. I also tapped personal friends of President* for their reminiscences of off-the-cuff tun at the suirjnit. Here's a posy of Uieir best high-level howls.
Phil Silvers told us between gulps of Lindy's cheesecake that his greatest triumph with President Eisenhower took place at a Radio and Television Correspondents' dinner at Washington's Slatler Hotel. The entire
"Ike used a short Democrat for a. tee," sallied Hope to the ilhistrious guests as Ike griiined.
"Of course.it's very disconcerting to play with the President," he went on: "Everywliere you look you- see Secret Service men with a matched set of machine guns in their bags. I shot a lousy eighty-three."
Bob told the audience he and Elsenhower were teamed up as partners and "that before "teeing off he had a.slct'd w'hat stakes they were playing-for. rie quoted Ike as saying: _
"I just approved a foreign loan of a~blllion dollars. But I only play a jloliHT—Nassau.'
"We lost four bucks," griped Bob.
"Vou know folks," he coriti- . nued. "I met Mr. EisL-nho-.vei durir.g ine war in .■\Igieri They seni him over to replace CliaiU'S Boyer. Tljat was \\!ieii E;se:i;K)uer was a generiil nnci nad s.^rne power!"
Ike iliipped the table wilh gl"c at thai one.
Joey Itishop once entertained Hrc.»iidcnt F.iseiihowcr at a b-<tn-louet. It was during a time w-hen a bill which would spring a 20-per-cmt amu.'^ement t-ax on night-club owners was before Congress. "After you see my act. i Mr. President," said Joey Bi- | shop. "I'm sure you'll agree u 20-per-cent aniusemeni lax is
.'When my turn came to speak I pointed to the audience and said, ' I do better with Democrats.' Then he laugliedl"
t ! ■ Cnoliduc, the dour Ver-ir ' who didn't cho<ise to run or hfe
- ,in-r> coniroversy as to
smile. The an.swer comes from Groucho Marx.
In 1928 the Marx Brothers appeared in ''Animal Crackers" at Washington's Empire Theater. One night, during the first act, Groucho learned that President Coolidge wa.s iii the theater. At exactly 10,30 p.m., in the middle of the second act, Groucho suddenly interrupted- a love .scene with Mrs. Rittenhouse, strode to Jiie front of the~ stage and, leaning over the footlights^ looked Coolidge straight in -tlie. eya_ -
jokes we aimed at him during the campaign poked fun at his boyishness. For example, I was entertair:lng at, an election-luncheon which Kennedy attended. In the middle of my routine, the,busy candidate excused,himself and started to leave tor his next whistle stop.
"Kennedy's not feelhig t-bo well," I pracked. "He's had too many Pablums on-the-rocks . . 'By the way, I heard, that Mr. Kennedy went Christmas sho^ ping yesterday. He bought, a play-pen, a rattle, and a Teddy bear. Tomorrow he's going out
"Isn't it past your bedtime. Cahl^ he.^demanded. Tiie or- [and buy something ror^the^kids." cli^ra leader, swears hg sm a | we kiddedhim over his youth, fami smile fUt across STlent | (jut he took the ribbing like a Cal's face. ; ^^^^^ jjg knows the .value of a
I can certify from first-hand! joke. Before a speech in Los 1. -as once called the "still ' knowledge that John F. Ken- Angeles. Kennedy ambled up to of the party." There has ncdy is about lis well-equipped Hlort Sahl and whispered.
for the job of President as any \ "Mort, do you have any good
\ )ie;;:er Cal could actually | man in history. Mo.st of the I ono-liners for toniehl's sifecrh?"
HUMA,N RELATIONS=iHi~i==5H5===£H=H===H=n==::^^
Family Tattler
DR. ROSE N. FRANZBLAU
Santa Claus- are all visible evidence patterns of the majority have been and a.sslmilated.
I the Supreme Court and many
that the
absorbed congressmen. The sHttering as semblage exploded with laughtei
I om the eldest of three children
are divorced. Due to friction with
QUESTION:
\vho!,e fxirents
my mother ofter her second marrioQc, I tool', up much loo high." The Piesiaen; residence with my father and I'm very happy with
laughed, but Congress passed the bim
, My. sister is married ond residing In onother sfQtc She is very happy with her husband and children. Last year my jister and molher had o battle royol due to some statements mode to me
probably his most loj-al subject* and they were loyal because they remembered that Fran? Josef was a humanitarian who visited with the rabbis once a year and made it possible for .lew: to become commissioned ofljcers in the Austro-Hungarian Army, the only great power in Europe
At the Potsdam Conference in jwhen Silvers......moimied the ,y^5_ umtons wiis slated lo
1 podium-and-nfekedr''\Vould soine-,1 ,, ;------ , , ,
'\ A r.\-. ^' toll ma _ who-- enitr.a.ll aL a \ir.ory ceieorai.on rr.other concerning my brother-in-iow.
, bod> p.^iise 'eii me ™ attended by President Truman, rcpeoied them to m.y sister Smce I love my sister
nunmiig the store. \.^^ churchill and Sialui. and her husband dearly, I, for my o-.vn pcocc of
Nof part of the oct
.\ few second*- later a telephone behind President Eisenhower rang. It wa.sn't pan ot
To be sure of a tripartite belly-laiigii. Billions decided on a bold maneuver. It was, a iime wlun Russians were "liberating" wrist wutches by the wugonload; .su Red worked out a routine in v.hich h" plwmed to walk up lo Joe Stalin ajid, with a. gracious bow, say: "Comrade, i;
who allowed such a conce.';sion at the time.
The Jews needed this, benevolent monarch be-! Silver's act. Secret Service men cause with all their graces (my father once told promptly took alarm. One jum)> mel. the Ausinans were the worst anti-Semites eel forward and lilifd the re-in Europe not excepting the Germans, Poles, ceiver. Nobody could hear the Ukranians, Hungarians, or Roumanians The ensuing 'conversation. But Phil | gives me great pleasure to pre-Au.strians. have e.scaped this stigma because th^v ; S''^'''" mo^-a over and osten-, sent vou with this wri.n wattli have suece.>;sfullv identified them.'^elves with the Matiously cocked an ear. Wear it m good health",
waltz and breakfast ro'lls. i Pretending to relay a mcNsage ; The diplinr.aiic dynamite fuse
• •'• 'from the bodyguard; he turned | never went off because neitlicr
CHICKEN SOUP ON THE LOWER . EAST SfDE
In my book, "Only iii America", I described how the Jews on the Lower'E^t Side of America believed chicken soup yvas the panacea for phy-."Jicai ills. But. of course, the Jews are not imique .In this "cure-all" idea.
All over the world, people believe that certain foods are curealls. In England, a cup of tea will cure whatever ails you. The English are sure tea does the trick. And SoufJierners believe in some broth with the .same devotion Jews believed In chicken soup. Obviously, a ritual attaches to the preparation of broth, chicken soup, and tea and somehow this ritual puts the environment to rest and calms the ruffled .surface
and shouted: "It's-long-distance, j-Presidr-nt Truman nor the ter Some fellow named ' Dalles | rtble-tompcred Ru.^Man niU-r wai
THE IRISH BARS ON AMSTERDAM AVENUE
There is a dlstri.ct in New York I know qiilte ^11 but it is changing rapidly. The district Is from 72nd Street to IKith Street between Amsterdam and Columbus Avenues. It was a district once populated solidly by Irish. They were laborers and civil servants, firemen and policemen, clerks in the big grocery stores like the A & P and Gristede's which made It a point to hire Irish immigrant boys.
This district always had a saloon on every block and often two. The men gathered there at night fdr a lew beers and it is along this district that the practice of "bouncing" a free drink for every three purchases was first Introduced (sadly enough,' It is ?i practice non-existeiil in many other partii of this coimtry).
The names of these saloons told you exactly where you were. There was no mistaking them. They were called, "The Shamrock Bar". "The Dublin". "Skeily's", ''Bill's Irish Hangout", "Mo-rtarty's", etc. But as you walk along the district today, you .^ee the saloons have given way and are now Puerto Rican "bodegas" (stores). What saloons remain have changed their names to the
"Paradiso", and the "La Cielo del Nueva York".
Here and there, however, an Irish saloon remains and stubbornly sticks to the last. "Quinn apd Kling's" is still there and "The River Shannon Bar and Grill". But they do not flourish. As you walk by you can peep over the green paint on the window—six feet of the bars' windows were always painted green for two rea.>ons: (1) the green' identified it as Irish, (2t the wives passing back and forth could never see over i^ and thus spy a relaxing husband.
In these last remaining bars you can see two of three old codgers on their stools and the Irish bartender wiping the mahogany counter with his apron. Otherv.-ise the place is empty. The very emptiness Itself seems to proclaim that here lives a stubborn Irishman who will stick to the very last. But the very, last is not far off and on my next visit perhaps "The River Shannon Bar and Grill" will give way to the ".^moro.so Rojo".
F:ach group came, thrived, and moved on, leaving a deposit of its culture and a memorj-, and all of them together made America.
wants ' to' reverse the charges and says he'll talk' to- -anyone'."
This ad lib not only broke the tension but completely broke up President Elsenhower," who roared with appreciation.
Comics at Eisenhower shindigs always got a lot of smileagt out of the late' John Foster Dulles, whether he was there or on one of his diplomatic safaris. At a Republican dinner in Washington, Eisenhower laughed heartOy with the Secretarj-
of State when I cracked, "John announcing hg would "now play
mind, vsontud lo (h'Oi boiH side.".. 'Sis confronted Mom ond 0 terrible fight followed
Eser jrnce I con ren-embcr, I hove been in the middle It's olwoys been, "Don't tell this one this or that one that "
A/y .\i,.trr is expecting a boby My- brother who lives with Mom, refutes to tell or let me tell her obout the bcby. My sister hos begged me not to fell molher You see, Sis inviied Mom (or the holidovs. ^.'om wrote her o ver/ cold teller, refusing ond Wishing her luck for the rest of her life Noturolly, my sister feels if my Mom doesn't want her she doesn't need her grandchifrircn .,
Should I keep rjuiet OS per my sister's request? My boy friend fells me I'll reolly be on the carpet when m.off-ier finds out.
ANSWER: There ore many anncipotorv. breaks before o home fmolly breaks .up for goOxi In the course of the proecss, .the -children run from .one still undomogcd S(X)t to another, hoping thot the family will not foil oport altogether.
They look'for comfort from the parent they like be<-t ond with whom they ore least Competitive, or from their brothers and sisters"
able to attend this particular luncheon.
A fair-to-middjint; pianist In lis own riant, President Truman >vas a sitting duck for ^'iclor
iiorge-s mu.sical monkeyshines ' |^ \arr.Av, the girls ciigned themseKcs with I'.orce con\aiIsed the DeiTjorratic fhg father and the boy v^ith the mother, as i, psv-Pre.-iident at a White Hou.<^ Cor- choloqicoHy characteristic of childhood Until the respondents' banquet when he remarriage of your mother you really were not sure suddenly pretended to get stage | who was to blcme, but when she remarried it proved fright and become hopcles.'^ly i to you »hat she was the deserter, responsible for confused at»ut the names of several famous cabinet members'. He chmaxed the" routine by
the breakup o' your home ond you turned ogainst her
As o child, you were used as a messenger, to carry tales from one to the other. You enjoyed this because it kept you Informed about what wo« going on.
Now, in your grown ycors, you hove graduated
from official tolebeorer to self-appo'nted mediator The operation is pretty much the same, only the rationalization is different, ' Before, you were i" the thick of things by having everybody tell you everything and swearing you to secrecy. Now you con stoy on tcp by telling their secrets, bul domg so under the clock of a seorch for truth.
But, under the guise ot peocemoker ond Inuth-lover, you hove really caused trouble.
Just as your mother broke up with your folhei vOu ore Irving to ha~.e your sister breok up with her. The figure orcund whom all the fighting i"-lokinq piece is again a man — this time your sit ter's husbond.
Both you and your sister ore seesawing between love and hostility to your mother. But it would he ^ad, if your sister were to pass on her ontog'.'oisrr to her own children ond not permit them n irlo tionship with their grondmiolher.
While th^rc waj no holding back when it come
to i;pre.oding bod tidings, oil of vou ^eerh to w,ant to wilhbold good tidlrjgs as o punishment Your lister is Using the hew life as o weopon to express her hostility This is a childish wov to retaliate
Your relationship with the fomijy will, irrjprovc when, yo.u finolly m'arry your boy, fnend and move out of your father's home. Fulfilled as a wife; vou will be a better daughter ond also o better sisiei Your envy of your younger sister for marrying and having a family before vou will bs overcome an-you will not need to knife her under thn guij;' • '' loving her
Foster Dulles is here, but he can't stay long. He has his plane double — parked". At a Republican .luncheon Ike
attended during the campaigit. he beamed when a comic (me I again) said:
■ •■'I just heard Dwight D. Eisenhower was running ' for President. Some guys will do anything . to get out of the Army."
Ike slapped the table
Bob Hope has been poking ftm at Presidents ever since Roosevelt's first temi. He hit the jackpot on Eisenhower's laugh-meter at the 1956 White House News Photographers' Association dinner — just 30 hours before the President's operation for ileitis. The day before em-ceelng that glittering VIP banquet at the Sheraton-Park Hotel, Hope hiid played golf with Ike at Burning Tree Country Club,
for President Harry D. Tnimaii - er —• the 'Fifth Symphony' by — er - Harry S. Beethoven."
Exiled' Baby
Truman's biggest laugh
THE KING or DUBLIN & JUDAH
There are many legends which suggest that the Phoenicians and remnants of the "Lost Teh Tribes" were the first settlers in Ireland, and there are many Irish towns and . villages which derive the root word of their names'from the ancient, Hebrew.
Long before the advent of the Baxons or the Danes, sbme. of the most celebrated laws in Ireland appear to have been modelled oh those given to the childreii of Israel in the Book of Deuteronomy. The famous halls—of Tara, where the Irish ,High_^Kings held their firit govemmerit and Issued their wi.se edicts, are said to^ be so named from, the Hebrew word Torah,-iaw.-^ ' - ^
ROYAL INTERMARRIAGE
Legends and Irish history relate, that about the !year.. 580 B.C.E. Ireland's King Heremon married an Eastern Princess, Tara (pronounced Taaraa), the daughter of Zcdekiah, the last King of Judah. It is also related that this Princess with other members of the Royal House of Jadah escaped frflm the Babylonian captivity, which dates ffoni about; /<lie^\"same time. The e s c /p e o' the daughters of the last King of Judah Is clearly recorded .In tlie .Book of Jeremiahi chapter Tliit, where it states that the ^king's daughters escaped and came into the land of the Egyptians, even to Tahpanhes, and it Is further ■tated that at the Babylonian Invasion of Egypt, "s remnant ■I fiw Roj'Al House of Jndah
fled for. safety iiito another land." The Irish legend seems to bear out the prophecy of Jeremiah that' "the remhant that had escaped of the Royal House of Jndah shall again take roof downward and bear (fruit upward."
It. Is not altogether Impossible that u daughter of the.last King of Judah DID find her way lo Ireland, then known as Iniiisfail (Island ofDestiny), which country was well-^knbwn to Egyptian
__TH El MiRACUlOUt-GRQWN .^i-
Legend' relates thaf-the Princess : Tara, with some ot_her. peoples-brought with her To Ire^ .land .the "Stone, of JDestiny." . Hebrew, tradition'states it was the stone on which Jacob rested his head at Bethel,, When God's proml.se Was given to him. " ■Jacob Is said to 'have given the stone, which was his pillow, to Joseph, and it was preserved through, the, Egyptian captivity, formed the seat of,. Solomon's Throne in Jerusalem;, tind is today the same Coronation Stone on which every Britl.sh monarch .has been crovvned, with the sole exception .of Queen,. .Mary, since thei'.days,of Edward I.
Irish and Scottish legends are explicit In relating -that "the Stone of Destiny was brotight to Ireland to King Heremon, when he married^Princess tara. King Zedekiah'i 'daughter of the
Royal House of Judah';. Fromthat time it became the.' coronation stone of ail the Irish kings, until Fergus O'Moofe removed it to Scotland when . he became the King ofArgyle In '437 C.E, For more than 800 years each King of Scotland Wias crowned on It, until it was taken away to London by King Edward I, in 1298.
Some years ago a secret .society; was formed in J^reland for the puri'ose _of smuggling Jhe '^Stone of^^Destthy" to Ireland,
By TARA JOYCi
crow-ned on the "Stone of Destiny." Jeremiah is held to have been her teacher and religious Instructor. He helped to formulate the Laws of Ireland accord^ Ing to the Ten Commandments.
The legislation of the' Brehon (Irish judges) and Mosaic Law • had much in common, for ex-atnple. in enjoining kindness and consideration to strangers., The laws of; the Gaels_of Scotlarid. were originally Iri.sh Brehon
and Phoencian mariners.' ;"f^whehce_it was to be returned to --tows'^ransferred torfScotland,
.Jerusalem. The scheme-failed, and later -the—Scots had^-the; same Idea. Their'-: plot also failed.. Further Irish legends relate that' the 'jStone of- Destiny" will be -eyentuaily re.stored to the: Israelites, and some day will 'again be" set up; in its rightfiil place in-the rebuilt City of Jerusalem.
Ten different Irish historians mention .that a Hebrew teacher or prophet came to Ireland aboiit 580 B.C.E, .with a daughter ol King Zedckiah. and members of the Royal House of Judah. They had the Halls of Tara built. This Hehre%v prophet is said to have been none other than Jercniiah, whose medaUjon was carved\ in stone in the High Courts or Justice in Dublin; but erased in a battle during the 1916 Rebellion. The prophet w£^s known as the Ollamh (law-giver) and Brehon (Judge) and adviser to the High Kings of Ireland. King Hereinon WBS then the monarch at"^ Tan. whose young Jewish Queen wu
but-they_uhderwent considerable changes in the Middle Age^ ^ The Assembly of -Tara. -was
the last Ttelng convened by .King Dermot, son of Fergus. CuriStis as it -may seem, among the Irish there, is .a legend that the strange high mound (this Hill of Tara) was set up by Jeremiah and contains the lost Ark of'tlie Covenant. Due. to the ravage's of war arid invasion in Ireland,. once, known as the "Island; of Saints .. and Scholars." the magnificent Halls of "Tara are hovv complete ruins. However, It, is very straJnge that the high. Hill of Tara iemains, intact. 'The legendary mound resembles an emerald-green dome: ,\:'Who knows, perhaps Jeremiah did build the famous mound at T^ara. Some day, perhaps, archaeologists may tmeartih the lost Ark: of thft Covenant theris. ■
(Copyright by The Conodidn JiWiih New. JCNFS)
7
QUESTION: We hove o bright and olert little boy who hos just turned 2 ond is bur only'child Having .just recently moved to o new oportment, we I find thot he refuses to qo to sleep In his own room. ' He shared our roorn until now' He cries hysterically and throws up every night. He keeps colling for Clark CUliord, his Presideiiiiai , different things ond mokes oil kinds ol excu&es advisor., says the hardest he : to get out of the'room.
ever saw Mr. Tniman laugh was We've tried everything — talking to him, put-at one of his o\wi pleasantries ''"9 '"vs in the crib: leaving his lomp on, hitting -It was at an intimate iun- ' ^^'^ V^^I'^S- All 'his 's to no avail We are both
iyoung — in our- 20s Wereaiued that this was o
choon for Winston Churchill," Clifford relates. "Mr. Truman used to kid the daylights out of me for buiitmmg cigarettes — I only smoke one or two a day, so never earn- my own. After
new exoeriencc for him and tried to give him as much reassurance as we knew how, but this is going on three weeks now
He is good oil doy, but os soon as If gets dark he refuses to gO into his room for anything
ANSWER: With theqrov^rh and development of
But this is
coffee had been served, I a.sked : ° child there are always problems.
: great drive to overcome
v.'nether anyone could let nie i "°'''^°'- '^'^'^""y- ''^''''"'^^ ^'^""^ '"''^^f be no
h.i„o n\,r;rn,,i Mr i--,„,..„i.in : 3'ear orive lu uvcrLuine them ond grow bevond. have a cigarette. Mr. Cnurchill ,-^^^ p^^^ ^^^^^.^^ ^^^^^ problems, porents
reacned m his pocket and prof- ^^^^ children both can goin on acceptance of the^ ferred ong from an English i realities of. the world around them, ond adiust to^ pack. ■■ 'Would this brand do for : them on on ever-higher level you?' asked the famous Britisli ' Around the age of 2, oil chidren bc^in to act Prime Minister. ■ 1 op ot bedtime or during the night.
•"Oh don't worr^' about Clif-l ^^en the child wos confined to his crib ond ford.' the President interjected, i ^°°''"' """^'^ to^move about, he sow only^rhc.world • ui -11 «,„i- ~ • i. j . .1 fnat was brought in to him to see, ond he reigned Hell smoke any given brand.'" |.^^ an absolute monorch. Once he began to
toddle oround,. he learned thot there were others in the, world, and thot his place, wos less than the number one spot.
By acting up at night, ho seporotes his mother
effectively from,his rival, the fother, wilh whom, he hos learned, she .seems to hove an exclusive relotionship from which the child is totolly excluded. Teors, demands, comploints :— anything that will keep one of. the porents standing by or waiting on, him, even though II be to scold and- punish —
Truman nudges Clark Clifford in the ribs about it to this day.
Franklin Delano Koosevelt loved jokes, and his reaction to humour was razor-sharp.
Jack Benny, who as usual was 39 at tlie time, recalls tliat his most successful Roosevelt gag took place at a Gridiron Club dinner. The newspapers that day bristled with headlinfes about the govenunent's ■ seizure of Moiitgomery, Ward and Co. for alleged noncompliance with a. government' directive, ■
FDR topped Benny
"This tuxedo I'm wearing,'? Bermy saki_Jn his monoiogue, "i; bought it. at- Montgomerj', Roosevelt and Ward." Above the
roar - of appreciation. President Roosevelt's voice could_be^leardl
twisted. Jack! It's' Roosevelt, Montgomery and Wardri.
founiJed by Ollamh Fodhla (the.L. Hope aj^ ^^^^
PHp.tT^w.Vt..r^ '..tpron^inh-.- nnH- ^^ck to- FDR's regime. Bob trig:
Priestitaw-giver) "Jeremiah," and . .. . , , ^ — contiriW as sucinmtil.560 C.e.i^.^,^5^„^^,,«^,-
Correspondents' -dinner atteinded' by President Roosevelt when he said;. ■':,,,
"The' last time I heard of President Roosevelt he was out on the ocean with Winston Churchill. They 'vyere planning wai* stra-tegj'—meaning when and where we ,'wili attack the enemy and how to keep Eleanor put of the cross' fife." .„
Herbert Hoover's face was often wreathed in. smiles but-thei sage of Palo Alto's- demeanb^ did not exactly inspire iiilarity. The indestructible George Je^sel recalls sitting next to ^ him at New , 'York's ■wddbrf-Astoria HoteL ^ ■. :,/•:.':,'■
"1 wlilspefed gig after gag .in Hoover's ear but he kept an ab-. solutely. straight lace/* v^^says Georgi*, , ;
serve this purpose. When he crawls into their bed. he keeps them opart even when they are together. He does not do rhis out of maliciousness or to oef even with his .parents The child is merelv hoving a hard time giving up his mother.
A move from one home to another is porticulorlv hard for a child. The most difficult move of oil fo' him was the move out of the bedroom of his porentj into o room of his own. As for os he is concerned, his own room is 6 place of exile It is in vou' room,^ not his, that life flows ond grows
To handle this by punishment may lengthen the
period of odiustment or moke the conflict go underground, only to show up later in a real maladjustment.
Perhaps whot is needed is o more coreful pre p>aration for bedtime. If might be helpful to slori with all of you having dinner together as often as possible. After dinner you rhight go together, as a threesome, to his room. There, while one of the parents holds him lovingly, the other can read or tell him a bedtime story. ' Singing little song^ reciting his favorite jingle, ond saying his bedtime prayers con follow.
Then, when" he begins to yawn and octs d little tired, you con do the final tucking in, ond the goodnights con be sold. If he seems to resist this, one of you might stay with him, o while until he falls asleep. . .
Just ds this behaviour did not appear suddenly,, out of the blue, It will not disappear overnight. This fomily ritual of, preparation for going lo bed con help,- but must not be expected to perform miracles If you see aiiy Improvement, it should encourage you, -OS it will olso encourage the child to go for-- .vard.
Whot he needs is psychological feeding of loving eassurahce to allay the sposms of fear which hi; crying and. vorniting evidence. When he is fed thi> emotional food, he will not feel the need to throw up at you because he feels he is being thrown put
aug
I .. QUESTION: My husband's daughter, who is , 2b-,yedrs-old, is now living with us. She left her. mother's honie because she claims she-cannot get olong with her mother's husbond. '
The problem is this: she has been going but on dotes quite often, and gets home around: 2 a.m. She insists on brlnging'her- dote- into the house ot
s
m'ainly out of hostility to the rnother. ..A stepdaughter' is always, d reminder of het mother, the first woman ..in her: father's, life, and a threat that his:bid love might come to life again.-Having a grown-up child of a foriner marriage move in might seem, like o dispossession of the new mate, but .the new. mate has to tqke on the. respon-
thotihburJfor-d cup of coffeeT " ' - — sibiliry for thechlid.' She has. to handle all of thc
_____......_ My hijsband hos-reprimanded _he'' an£.has for- _pj:oblems .createdJsy the reol_mother, without ■ the
shoutine- ''You've-pot iT^nnVliffiidden her to-do - this, but she does not listen=7tp: some, authority. - ,
:"°"-"^* .r*.°" ^l}- "r^him ond tells him he Is. old-fashioned.^ . ' ■ It glves:a girl .Status to be oble to act os hosN
We live in o smoil five-rooifi'Qpartment_flj-id by ess and invite her dole into her_por'ent5.'-4wme. It herijeing.-so selfish ond inconsiderote.lhe disturbs is also a good woy-o.f- protecting herself from em-the wRbie households at that hour.- - -. ^_3arra5sing overtures. In her home,-rthe presence of-
Her dotes, have, been collihg'for her at our bpme, -— \\sr porents is felt, even_ ttiough^they- may not be^
and Ifeel that bringing her_to^ut^ door and her saying-goodnight .to them' there- is sufficient.: : ^
.She might heed: advice given outside the family on what.is right:and wrOng in this rnatter.
.ANSWER: A young girl who is sttiying to find herself and to.gain acceptance from, others niay well see in the divorcee who is her mother the epitome of the rejected maiden, 'The mother is blomed for the breokup. : • ,.
Behind such accusations' js the fear that, she will turn' out like the mother oiid. repeat hei- parent's ' foilure in:her own life. :
That is why adolescent, children often rebel, so. violently against the divorced mother, They feel that since she couldn't mondge her own life, she is-in no position to-give orders or hand put advice
in the field of boy-girl relationships.
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Usually, when the father remarries, the children
iFeel that it is almost like-a second desertion of them. While they are very resentful of the father, they gsuoliy direct their resentment to his new
seen.
However, this is noway egnfrodlets the foct that
she-is being inconsiderate of the rest of the family.
Shemust be told that if she wonts to invite boys in for o cup of coffee, she.must do so quietly. Perhaps.if she prepared o tray before going out, it would ovoid, open ing and closing closet doors ond rattling dishes. '
It would undoubtedly evoke greater, consideration-on this girl's port for both of you if you were more welcoming to her guests when they coll t9-take..^her ■ out. This, might oMay the nervousness/she fe^ls :when bringing 0 boy into the house,./Offering the, young man o cup of coffee and dessert, and visit-, ihg with both of them for 0.bit or with him while, rfie gets ready, would moke him feel very welcome and: her more welcomed in the home. She woijld then, perhaps not hove to moke up for a cold reception by d hot cup:of coffee upon his,departure.
More approval ond .acceptance shown her would make it edsier for her to.accept and abide by wife. For .your stepdaughter to coma:and make her ^_your txilos^ond to show the gratitude, she really home with you'could well Indicate thot the ^QX\\tr^y' feels-In'mbro appreciative and thoughtful behaviour daughter, relationship.is a very gbod one, and that toward you. It would,- diso help irnmeasui;ably she likes ond wonts to identify with you as this ;for you to Sit down end talk to her'obout this o$ desirobi* femol*. But 0 rpovt lik* thl« ii tpadiV wwnon: to-womon. . .
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