ONI Y IN AMERICA
By ILiBRY GO WEN
THE REDEMPTION OF THE NEW XRISTOCRACY
■Hie" boss he died one evening And climbed up to the Pearly Gate He said, "Oh, Mr. Peter, one word
I'd like to teU— I'd like to meet the Astorbilts
and John D. Rockerfell.-
Old Pete said: "Is that so? You'll meet them down below."
The above waa an old Wobbly (International Workers of the World) soiig. Listening to it now, one realizes the immense change that has come over the country in the last 50,years. The "Astorbilts" and "John D. Rockefell" will not be in Hell, but in heaven, as a reward for siring the saviours of America.
The American aristocracy are saving the cause of social progress. Our nobility, the Fords, the Hantmans, the Guggenheims, the Rockefellers, the Camegies, are champions of the liberal cause. They have been the greatest supporters of the United Nations, they have flguted out the plans by which we exchange students with foreign countries and, above all, they have spearheaded the integratlOTi movement In the South ever since
PLUS CA CHANOB
Out In San Francisco the beatniks have established dozens of espresso palaces and coffee m-loons. ITiey are called romantically such names as "The Place of the Two Bagels," and the' "All-American Greek Palace." Here the beatniks sdt and hold animated discussion of the "squares" the rhythmic effects of Ginsburg poetry and what lit Jack Kerouac doing now.
The espresso shop ha« become epidemic. It has spread into New York and is not confined to Greenvrich Village by any means. We have one to Charlotte, N.C., and I visited one in Jerusalem, of all places.
The beatniks are to be congratulated. The coffee and cake saloon is a wonderful thing to ipevlve. It is a most civilized institution.
But it is not their invention by any means. Indeed not. It is the invention of immigrant Jews on the lower East Side of New York City.
It was in the coffee house that the tamigrant Jew found his recreation and leisure. Now much more tea was consumed In these saloons than -eoffee. It was always consumed "Russian style," that is in a glass with a lemon slice floating on the top and sipped gingerly between teeth.
Everyone met in the coffee house. The anarchists were there most of all, since they were too busy with revolution to thUilc about employment. In fact, of the Lower East Side Revolutionist Ik
the Gam^e Foundation financed Gunnar Myr-dal's monumental study, "An American. Dilemma." The rich kid has wound vp on the side of all the people.
It Is tiie chore boy who deplores ttie new •oclal dispensation, and who would revoke Social Security, TVA, rund electrification, cheap postal rates and ther^y claim he is giving everybody back their freedom.
The chore boy who worked for a living always the iron-clad conseryaUve; the fellow with two feet on the ground crying about the money "down" the drain" that goes Sito foreign aid. The fellow who milked the cow at 4 a.m. and took care of the diildren vtiae his mother was at the jute mill, is our conservative, and the boy bom with a silver spoon In his mouth is our liberal.
The chore boy got nothing free and he wants to make sure no one less privileged to natural talents gets anything 'free either.
But I suspect theirs is a losing cause. The American aristocracy Is far more noble. A friend of mine wrote me some years ago; "The Rockefellers have Just given me a $5,000 grant so I could write my book on Socialism". Only in America.
could be said that tea and anarchy comprised ttie whole of his life.
Cbess and checkers were tho coffee house's divertissemeiiit. Behind every game stood 12 onlookers who tch-tched a* every move.
These coffee houses were exceptionaly popular on the Lower East Side and their success can be measured by the fact that they were not dependent upon transient trade.
The same people were there every day in the week at specified hours. You could pick and choose what kind of intellectual stimulation you wanted. At one place ttie discussion might range for years on end about the prospects of the Yiddish theatre, the cruelty of critics who dared comment on tiie great Adler, the magnificent dramaturgie (sic) of the playwrights; at another, Zionism was the only topic admitted to the Round Table; at a third, the Socialists gathered. Hie Socialists were the great cigarette smokers. But when a stranger walked Into any of them and usurped a seat conversation went silent, just like a cowboy saloon, and suspicious eyes surveyed the newcomer.
Whether this holds true or not for all the
Letter From Eichmanngrad
By GOLDA ZIMMERMAN
What Of The Youth
For the Prosecution  in   the ture  which breeds conformisni
Eichmann trial the task is now completed. What remains is up-important, for it odnsists only in breaking down by cross-examination r'hatevei^ kind of mitigating circumstances Dr, Robert Servatius may try to plead in defenc<> of his client. Arid it Is only of passing interest whether a verdict of guUty (in any case, horribly certain) Is pronounced on Eichmann, for, except as far as legal niceties are concerned, this is obviously not the_trlal of one man.
Nazism, antisentltism, humanity itself have been nam^at different times by different people as the accused. Hnmanity, indeed, stands guilty; every--hunian being shares the guUt of being part of a world where such things could happen. Could they happen again? Yes', answered unhesitatingly a 25-year-old German student who is here watching the trial. They could happen in Germany, he says, because education there stiU has a "medieval hierarchic strnc-
BOOKS AND MEN
A PROFILE
Robert Welfsch At Seventy
The name of Robert Weltsch is inexorably connected with the "Juedische Rundschau" — just as Henry Wickham Steed with "The Times" or L. J. Greenberg with The Jewish Chronicle. But Weltsch would have made his mark in Jewish journalism and letters even if he had not gone to Berlin on December 1, 1919, to assume the editorship of tliat once fa-' mous weekly. Twenty-three years after the liquidation of that paper he remains one of the most outstanding Jewish journalists and essayists. Today he is London correspondent of
the Israeli newspaper, "Haa-beatnlk coffee houses, I am not sure. I am afraid  i-etz", and editor of the "Leo not. I've noticed some of these coffee shops have I Ro^i begun installing cafeteria tables. The American urge toward prosperity is probably going to get the better of the old coffee house.
THE DISAPPEARING SALOON
When the immigrant Jews first came to th« Lower East Side of New York, before- this area became known as the ghetto, they fotmd saloons on every comer. Many of them seemed perma^ nently ihoor^ to their sites and nothing less than a battleship could move them, But as the Jewish population increased the number of saloons decreased. As the butcher shops, grocery stores and coffee houses proliferated, the saloons began to die.
The saloon on the Lower East Side did not disappear because Jews did not drlilk. Indeed not. Jews tto drink. My father ..alwa^ drank-httoAyliaom my mother served him the tradl-tlooal Sabbath Eve meal of gefilte fish and he drank brandy Immediately afterwaid, too. My father. In fact, beUeved that the lack of brandy desecrated the Sabbath joy.
I have described how this same phenomenon k to bo observed along Amsterdam Avenue in
New York City, (Mice the proud home of New York's Irish. Nowadays the Dublin Saloon and The Rose of Sharon Grill have given way to Puerto Rican bodegas (grocery stores).
It is also to be observed in our ever-p^ollfera^ tng suburbs. There, however, it Is a little different. "Jcrfm's Saloon" has given way to the "Ship's Lantern" which Instead of windows has portholes and Is classified by the snobbier ap-pelation of "cocktail lounge." These are the new Iromigfrants: those who have deserted the city.
The "cocktail lounge" Is a' sure harbinger of su]>urban .-status, Wiuie It -may not be as much fun as the old-time saloon, nor the felkxwship as generous, tt is a sign positive ct ttie future.
The cocktail lounge differs from the saloon in that the saloon used to provide a free lunch or at least a hard-boiled egg for a nickel, but at a cocktail lounge all you get to eat are the cellophane-wrapped peanuts you bujf.
Baeck Institute Year Book."
Weltsch was born on June 20, 1891, in Prague, the son of a lawyer whom he himself describes as "a faithful Jew but never a Zionist." .After high school in Prague he went to Prague University, where he obtained a Doctprate in Law as the First World War broke out- He went straight into the Austro-Hun. garian army, was commissioned, and fought on the Russian front. He was demobilised as a lieutenant and never return-
<%d to Prague. A Zionist in his student days, a member of Bar Kochba (an organisation which preached cultural Zionisnvof the Achad Ha'am and Buber brand and which published in 1913 a collection of essays edited by him and Hans Kohn that created a lively discussion in the Zionist Movement), he was attracted to the Zionist centre of the :'Juedlsche Zeitung" and (General Secretary of the Jue-discher Nationairat (Jewish National Council). Soon afterwards he accepted an invitation from the Xibnint organisation In Germany to become editor of the "Juedische Rundschau," and with an Intei-val of one year — 1923-24 — which Weltsch spent in London at the invitation of C^aim Weizmann, he edited the journal until September, 1938. Weltsch left Germany to settle in Jerusalem and is now an Israeli citizen.
When Weltsch took over the "Juedische Rundschau" (which had been in existence since 1895) it had the reputation of being a solid, informative, and well produced Zionist weekly. He infused the paper with his own brand of Zionism and poll
(Copyriflht Th« Canodion Jewish News ond Harry Go(den)
ACROSS m FENa
MY CAREER AS A SPY
By PAUL MORTON
B!litlSiSSSE£=HHs!rEr:srHHH:H=5sssnSKH
I was once a spy. Wa bad nicer words for tUs oocup^on In World War U: Malson officer, confidential agent, agent provocateur, etc. etc! Nevertheless, according to the definitions of tho Geneva Convention, I was a spy. .
Certainly, "spy" is wh^ you, are called by Vm enemy when you are caught... at which thne •bout the last dignity you've got left is to smoke • cigarette and refuse the blindfold.
I was an agent for the British, whldi should take some of the curse from tiie revelations I am going to make In this column. I was with the "good guys" — good, that Is. unless you happened to be In the service of the Maccabees fightihg for a free Israel.
The people upon whom I was assigned to Bpy were CJermans, the Italian Republican Army (Fascists), and the Italians of varying shades of political coloration, who might become our allies against, the Nazis and Fascists.
I was a war oorriespondent lor a Torcmto newspaper (The Star): when I was selected for . this work. The British are the great realists of war. They are probably the most. sophisticated fighting peoiple of our day. They needed a REPORTER. They chose me. .
"The British haye a kind of genius for esplona-gje.' They carry toeir fascination for understate^ ment lirto warfare like a shield. They care iwOt ing for wound stripes, marksmanship medals, or the "red badge of courage."They are entirely ruthless. They wlU send "cowards" to battle, and make them like It. Any pretensions to brsp very, loyalty, the "stiff upper lip", the "we who are about to die salute you" stuff, they laugh at. So they selected me carelessly™ trainedTSo thoroughly.... laughed at me cheerfully..;, and parachuted me 20o: miles behind the enemy lines In North Italy. Ihey handed-me $50,000 and told me to enjoy myself.
Wheiiever, as a child. I have seen a fence, I have wanted to climb it... to see what is on the other side. My greatest amhition as a war r^rter was to find out. exactly what It was like across the enemy Mnes: were there really gas ovens? were tiie Cferinans perpetrating civilian atrocities? did the Gerinans know they were
gping-to^be b«*'*°' could one, perhaps, interview HlUer...; .Mussolini? -
To some news writers, these may have seemed childish ""dreains of gloiy", Walter Mltty fanta-sies. But yl had these things in mind when I parachuted into Piedmont in the late Summeir of im.^-']   ■ ■; ■^ \
, I discovered Willy.
lly was a Czech Jew, frorii ■ Pragu*. I bad him Into then enemy-held fastness of and the night he parachuted Into the high oouhtiy above Curieo, above_Mondovl, »q) In
the Alpine foothills above the tiny village of Prea, I was there to meet him.
"Willy" was his nom-de-guerre. I shall never know his name, unless, perhaps, he reads this. Describe Willy: 5'11", dark — Jevra are always dark, except when they're blondes or redheads — and be had a nose larger than some gentiles, smaller than others. He had a Czech accent. His Italian was extremely limited. And he was all set to pass, in enemy territory^ remember, for the very thing he was not: a Canadian second lieutenant, with ONE pip on his shoulder straps, and a cover story to the effect that he was a naturalized Canadian from Vancouver, B.C.
Willy was the most expendable agent I have ever met. We became friends.
I told him, first,: that Canadians wouldn't send a onepipper, ion a job like' his. He'must become a full lieutenant. He accepted the promotion, but pointed out he had no more pips to put up. I queried him about Vancouver. He knew the main street and the names of two stores. I made him into a "Toixaitonian.
What was his assignment? The British were' about as vainie wltti him, as they^d been with me, Willy was a tndhed wireless operator, and he later participated in the'captiu'e and execution, by Par-tisaris, of Mussolini. But, at the time I knew him, his final destination was probably Prague.
What were the British up to? I'll do my best to explain, and any 06s agents from this U.S. who .were In North Italy at this time can make the most of it.
The British were attempting to implement Churchiirs policies: Inhibit the effective develoiv ment of iCommmunist partisan groups in North Italy, Austria, Czecho-Slovakia, Poland; beat the Russians in the drive to occupy these countries, even if It was only by a few British-led guerrillas. The Americans disapproved.
The British miscalculated. They thoi^t the front in Itialy would move forward'much faster than it did. Th^ considered the Italian partisans might block off the Brenner tass, pocket the Cfer-mans divisions; then pur British-led guerrilla fo^ ces would sweep through the pass, gathering par-' tlsfin strength as we moved, on Vienna,, Pr«^^, and Warsaw. .        •■>■ '>
But the battle/front bogged, dovm in Italy, In the Pall of 1944,; and Willy and I, and others, were left stranded in the foothills of Piedmont.
Willy stayed] on. I moved jsouth, laimched a fowbpat at Gernian-held VendmlgUa, and, rtiwed to American-Prench-held Monie Carlo.
Where Is WiUy now?. I hope ho Is safe In Israel:. . . or wherever he wants to be. ^
As for me, I had gone ACROSS THE FENC5E, and met a Jew. But then, as some Clirlstians will teU you, "Jews get in everywhere.''
(Copyright, Paul Morton li Th« Canadian Jnwith N«w«)
DATELINI: ISRAEL
By CARL ALPERT
THE CENSUS
HAIFA — The complete population census just completed in Israel was the first since 1948. The counting of heads in Israel has always been accomp-ained by problems, and the lat^ est census was. no exception.
Though the Bible makes frequent mention of population count undertaken by Moses at God's reque^ (in Exodus and Numbers) the feeling grew that it was presumptuous of man to count his brethren. In the Second Book of Samuel it is told that David took a census of his people (the count took 9 months and 20 days) but when he was finished he regrptted the act. "I have sinned greatly in what I have done... I have done very foolishly." The punishment was a pestilence upon the people.
The opposition to a census became alm<Kt a religious mandate amwig the Jews. I well remeniber how the shammes in our old shnle used to oHcuhivent the ban when seeking to asceriain if there was 1 minyan present: "Nisht eins, nisht zvei, nlsht drei..."
The British tried to count heads in Palestine oin two occasions, in 1922 and in 1931. There were elements among the Jews who saw in this a political maneuver — an attempt on the part of the British to fix an Arab-Jewish population ratio, and to regulate immdgrafcion accordingly. The, call was therefore l^ed to boycott the census, and thus render the-results obviously valueless^ Th© Arabs, "on the other hand, were'ndt averse to being counted more than once.
The first census imdertaken by the Israel government vras a bUta: procedure in 1948. A 7-hour curfew was imposed; 110 one^was perinitted to stir from his home, and in this period 10.000 selected soldiers visited every house and tallied t<^.
IsraeJ'B 19S1: census liook about two weeks. C?-«e to 5.000 census takers were trained for months prior to the actual count.
The rirst problem became apparent some weeks before the poll started. Each resident was to be asked to state his religion: "Jew, Moslem, Christian, Druze or other". What abut.people who' professed no religion? There are some peraons"in,Israel who odr mit to bfelng.Jews by natlonall-ty,-'but deny that they are Jews by religion. They have:no religion,. ttW say; They protested
that no provision was made for them in the census; either they would refuse to answer the que-stlOTi, or they would be listed
as Jews by religion against their will. They were most determined in thedT opposition. They published a booklet, far sale at all newsstands, presenting their case with vigor. Despite the ex-dtment thus generated, it is believed that not more than a bare few hundred Jews out of close to two million caused the census takers any trouble In this connection. The exact figure must await publication of the results.
Another minor furore was created when It was learned that a high official in the income tax department had been temporarily loaned to the census bureau. Did this mean that the promised inviolable secrecy of tlie statistics was to be breached, and that information would leak
over to the Ministry of Finance? The.tax man discreetly, resigned from the census. , Opposition was eapected. from the Mea Shearim quarter of Jerusalem, on religious groimds, and ..the'. census. takers had resigned themselves to gathering the statistics as best they could from neighbours, observations and other. £- rces. 'The exact number of the vociferous, prolific . minority in Jerusalem's self-imposed ghetto will never be known. —
It came as a great shock, however, when the Dean of the Rabbinical Council of Jerusalem ruled that it was_forbidden_to count population. This would have affected thj attitude of. tens of thousands of ^religious Jevys all over the countiy. In a preliminary skirmish, rabbinical authorities, were quoted pro and con. The final decision was laid down by Israel's Chief Rabbinate Couhdl which declared that Jewish law dOP" not prohibit a census as conducted hi Israel. The deciskm vrais based on the fact that individuals are not being counted at all. The census taker filled out a card for each person interviewed. Later, the cards were ^tabulated by IBM iriachineSi-Nq^ law forbids the counting of cards.
/What: will the" figures show? Preliminary., results vrtil • be ibiown quickly, but the full iri-formaUoh, based on a debadlwl qWtlonnalre filled oiit only by every fifth family, .will not be avBilable for about three yean.
tical outlook, and under his guidance the paper's influence spread beyond the frontiers of Germany to the German-speaking countries of Central Europe and to Poland and the Baltic States. Weltsch put much stress on education and cultural acti-vity and preached a policy of friendship and understanding with the Palestine Arabs. His vision was of a Jewish National Home based upon co-operation between Jews and Arabs.
With the advent of Hitler In 1933, Weltsch remained at his post. In his inimitable style, and with great skill, he managed to report the Nazi iniquities and to criticise Hitler's Government; to plead for reason and humanity and, at the same time, to buoy up the spirit of his Jewish readers. Time and again the "Rundschau" was confiscated or closed down, and Weltsch had to go and plead with the Nazi authorities for the journal to come.out again. It may seem incredible, but time (Continued on page 12)
and submissiveness." He warns that the German; tendency towards authoriiaiianism Is once again increasing.
He thinks that the trial will have a healthy effect on German youth, provided Eichmann's crimes are riot seen in isolation but as symptoms of deeply toot-ed political and moral misorien-tations which to some extent are present In every society but which only In Germany were strong enough to become the very foundations of government.
What of Israeli youth, to whom Ben-Gnrion specifically addressed this trial? They have learnt the facts of what happened; they did not know tHSm before, and the impact was too bewildering to provoke an immediate reaction ,aIthongb tbis question of why Eun^iean Jewry went like lambs to the slaughter still bothers them.
The Hungarian chapter particularly, with its confusion of negotiations which came to nothing, and- a large organised Jewish community which did not manage to save itself although the Nazis overtook it so late, has left many questions unanswered in the minds of Israeli youth, aa In those of many of theb elders. (It is reported that a group of Hungarian Jews are setting op their own committee to carry oat research and write a true account of events in their country).
However, even if somebody 'should manage to explain to the satisfaction of Israeli youth what happened in Europe, it is doubtful whether they would truly understand. There is a great and growing schizm between youth in Israel and Jewish youth elsewhere. Tonng Israelis have grown up in an atmosphere of self-defence by aggression. Self-confident, uninhibited, and greatly influenced by Ben-Gnrion, they cannot understand why, if Jews can be subjected to the kind of treatment they have now heard about, they hesitate to come to IsraeL
These Sabras often say, "We are not Jews, we are Israelis". The bond between them and Jews abroad is becoming weai^ er, and the introduction of "Jewish consciousness" into school curricula was an aknowledgement
of this trend. At the very mo-merit when young Israelis were learning for the first time the extent of Jewish martyrdom at the hands of the Nads, the conflict over the meaning of Jew-ishness — whether it means race only, orr race, plus religion, or religion only — evoked such anger that many of them refused to d»...>cribe themselves as J6wi in the population census. Can irony go further?
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HUMAN RELATIONS.
Crying at 10
QUESTION: I have three children, 10, 6 and 1. The oldest and youngest are boys.
My older boy seems to be a very well adjusted child and quite happy at home. He gets along very well with his sister, except for an argument now and then, which I'm sure is normaj. He is crazy about the baby.
His teachers have always told me he is responsible, considerate, o fine boy with good character. He is quite busy with school, religious instruction four afternoons o week, music lessons and Boy Scouting. We are very proud of him and his work.
Now, the fly in the ointment—he cries. Reprimanded or frustrated in some project where things don't go well or quickly enough, his only out is to cry. Instead of trying to better the condition, he weeps. He doesn't cry anywhere but at home. I must admit that my husbond and I sometimes get quite upset and berate him for it. However, as soon as the tears ore gone, he is whistling and happy as a lark again.
ANSWER: Any youngster of 10 with such o heavy schedule and full work load who comports' himself so responsibly and conscientiously, and is opparently happy most of the time, is a very superior and well adjusted boy.
Naturally, when he gets approval from his teachers, parents and relatives for work well done, he feels gratifred and superior. But every child wants some free time to do as he pleases, to choose his own activity, and to play wih his-friends whom he sees playing with each other in a carefree fashion, OS he plods from one activity to another.
•      *. *■
As a result of being so pressured and haying so
many things to do in too short a time, he feels frustrated and frightened ony time things dp not work out according to schedule.
DR. ROSE N. FRANZBLAU
It is better to be ongry than anxious, it Is isettor to express the anger in some socially acceptable form, but it is also better to express it in tears than not at all. Weeping is o comparativly passive way of showing anger. The axiom that one should try instead of cry is a good one. But it takes older people than your boy to put it into effect.
In this respect, as with his schedule during the day, you are probably expecting too much, too soon.
When he cries, he is ogoin the little boy he sometimes wonts to be. In being so loving and mindful of the baby, he is setting an example of the kind of treatment and behavior toword him that he would like to get from his parents.
Athletic activity, in addition to making o boy feel stronger, in greater control of himself and more manly, also provides a splendid outlet for his normal aggressions. It is better and more acceptable to hit 0 ball than to hit o brother or sister, and certainly better than to hit out at a father or mother.
According to the rules of the game, his rights ore respected as well as those of his opponents. Feeling more monly on the boseball field or tennis court., the youngster somehow octs more monly at home. It gives a young boy a good feeling about his emerging masculinity, at this age,' for father and son to engage in activities together.
To coll him a boby will not make him act more grown-up. Actually, because he is ongry at you, he may retaliate by acting even more, babyish. As you must know, no child develops equally fast in oil areas. From your report, your son has done remork-obly well.
V/ith some.^of the pressure of his work and your expectations removed, the need to cry to say in tears what he cannot soy in words will also become
■•less..
QUESTION: My wife and I are the aunt ond uncle of a dear year-and-a-half-old nephew. Soirie-thing has occured recently that concerns us.
Whenever he meets onyone lately (the last two or three months), he hits out at them. We are at a loss to explain this, but could *it be due to one of the following things? Is. it )ust a phase he's going through? Is it the fact that he's being toilet-trained? Or is this his way of striking back because, at.the same time this started, his mother went bock to work? —' —. < , '.
.He-no longer sees her during the day. My niother is in charpe. '
ANSWER: Not one alone, but all three of the reasons that you have suggested could cause the described hitting-out behavior of the child.
However, whoit adults see as a hostile hitting-out could reolly be o little child's woy_pf reaching out for people ond the ever-growing world about him. Similarly, what adults see as disrupfh/e behavior on the part of childreri may often be nothing more than a healthy inqulsitiveness and drive to learn about things.
By taking objects opart arid putting . them together again, the little one answers for himself how things became the way they are.
It is soiVietimes the some in the development of relationships with people. When adults seem too for removed ond do; not respond In a way that mokes the youngster feel noticed and liked, he rriay call attention to. himself by acting up. •
At this age, all little ones do a greot deal of experimentation dnd exploration. jTKeV ore trying to master the activity of wolkirig and to be In control of the objects, aniriiate ond\ inanimate, that qre around them. To them, it is q nredt'discovery when the person they touch respond.-: with sounds, expressions and movements, even if they do not understorfti all the words that ore spoken. , ,
So,^as^ypu have suggested, your nephew's behavior may be nothln|grrioro,^than\^ phase of growing/and ieorninfl. HoWever,v it Is also true that ot.
(Copyright, Th« Conadlon Jewish News & Now York Pott)
this age the child wants to hold onto his mother more than ever. Anybody who takes his mother's attention away from him.even momentarily becomes on intruder. Even the most attentive and most Ibv^ ing newcomer must first be challenged before he is accepted and welcomed.
Deprived of his mother for most of hli waking day, this child is even more threatened by being dsked at the some time to give Up his spontaneous body functions, which hove always brought him pleasure and relief. The simultaneous occurrence of these dejarivations and demands frighteris him. To be opprooched by-^dnyone might mean to be asked to give up even rnore. He answers the question before It is asked by lashing out.
While some children can be toilet-trained by 18 months, it is a littJe-eqrIy for most children. Your nephew is being asked to relinquish a pleasure for theconvenience of others, and no- substitute pleasure is being offered him. At the some time, his riiother's leaving him becomes associated with the training ond both oppeor to be in some way a punishment for something bod that ho may hove done.
He hits out dt others OS he feels the people close to him have hit out ot him.
There seeriis to be a deep undercurrent of crW-cisrh of the mother in your ottitude. Perhaps this Is because the child has been left with the grandparents, and you regard this as on Imposition.
This^oyC signal, to some degree, o return of sibling rivalr^\that may once have existed in ths fomily. The annoyance which you : feel with t^^e mother, although cloaked in over-concern and over-attenfiveness for the childr^may be perceived by himifor what it reolly is. He responds to the antagonism hfe feels in th» air by twitting out ot the peoole who create it. \,
But even while disapproving of the mother; you can be just as lovinq and qporoving as ever of the child. Actually, this little'ttephew could benefitvfrom your loving- presence and attention. Jhe fault, you find with his mother cannot >e corrected by finding fault with him. .        x/,    ... \