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TU Conodmn J«wi»h N«w», fridoy, Augutt J, 1962 — Poge 3
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MOTHER FINDS SON
By BASIL JACKSON
MOVING STQRIES OF FAMILIES UN
The crowd in the receptioiiijust a few minutes earlier andi   The question rose, iinuttered,   The boy's eyes shone with youngest sister, and fetch her
IN TORONTO BY "JIAS"
area at Toronto's Union Station had managed to squeeze to the from her heart.
pressed closer to the guard front.
gladness. His mother, brothers over?" wrote the lady.
rail when the laconic voice on the public address system an-
Presently a few nien a;nd wo men, some tugging tired child-
nounced that the boat train-ren behind them, appeared at
. from Montreal had arrived. , Near the rail stood Mrs. bavidstvin, her fingers clutching the cold iron- until her knuckleis" grew white.
Her left arm was encircled by the strong arm of her eldest son, Nathan, and the other was held tightly by one of her teenage daughters, Ruth.
Behind them, eagerly peeping over the heads of the crowd were Mrs. Davidstein's other ten children. They ranged from little Benjamin, the four-year-old baby — held by sister Leah — to~bldest sister Paula, who had arrived with her husband
the entrance leading from the railway platform. The men carried bulging, battered suitcases. ---^
Immediately shouts of joy arose from people in the crowd, as they recognised fathers, mothers, husbands, wives and other dear ones they
had hardly hoped to see again, wheelchair through a separate
Mrs. Davidstein's face tens- door into the reception area. _______^
ed, eyes eagerly searching the! "Oh, my darling Michael! .been"allowed to enter Canada thickeuipg throng of people Here I am!" as an immigrant because he
who now crowded through the The attendant quickly pushed had contracted tuberculosis, doorway. the chair toward the welcom- However, through the aid of
"Will,he remember me? Will ing outstretched arms of the the JIAS, he had been permit-
The stream of immigrants and sisters hugged and show-began to tiiin. ered kisses on him.
"Maybe he missed the train? Where is he?" , again.:
She felt the re-assuring grip   The last of this widow's 13 of her son's grasp on her arm. children had arrived in Can-"there he is mother!" shout- ada — and now she could look ed Nathan. "He's in the wheel- to a future for them with hope, chair!" An UDCommon scene? No,
She looked in, the direction just one' of the many happy re- had suffered a nervous break of Nathan's pointing finger,    i unions made possible by the down, but had recovered. Now A  white-faced  boy,  about Jewish Immigrant Aid Services she was anxious to meet her nine, was being pushed in a,of Canada, ifamily.
In this particular case the'  JIAS helped to arrange iot young boy Michael had not' her to visit the U.S. where she
Nearly all apply for Cana-. Canada, by membership fees,]increased  to   16,717 people, dian citizenship after they have and through contributions from I Present Jewish population of JIAS went to work. Through been here the required length the: Jewish Welfare Fund of Canada is about 265,000. its world-wide location siervice.'of time and meet all the other Toronto, and the Combined A Jewish family was united'ahd its connections with the qualifications. Jewish Appeal in Montreal. '
Red Cross and the Hebrew Im-1  With national headquarters..
migrant Aid Service, the lost in Montreal, the JIAS also has!  Exact statistics of Jewish child — now a grown woman a central i'egion administered immigration into Canada be-1
— was found. ifrom the Toronto office, on fore 1901 are not available. The
After the departure of her Beverly Street. Western region first Jewish community was family many years ago she is directed from an office in started by Ezekiel Hart in Que-
Winnipeg. bee in 1760. By 1851 the Jewish
The organization is financed population in Canada still num-by the Jewish community in bered only 451, by 1901 it had
I recognise. him? Is he all overjoyed mother, and deftly right?" I sidled it against the rail.
ONU IN AMERICA
By HARRY GOLDEN
East Side Graduate
Ma.v Schuster of the estimable publishing firm. Simon and Schuster, has just sent me a beautiful little book, "A tribute to Governor Smith" by Robert Moses.
Tiieie have been few people outside my immediate family whom I have loved more than M Smith. A product of the Lower East Side of New York City, a "graduate" of the Fulton Fish Market. Al Smith was one of the first men in public life to hold in deep respect the chair of the Governor.
He believed it was not a political plum. The rcfornis he enacted while he was Governor have made it impossible for any successor ever to be a bad governor unless said successor decided to dip into the petty cash box. Moreover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, who did succeed Al Smith in Albany, brought many of these Al Smith reforms and innovations over into the Federal Government when he became President.
Mr. Moses writes that when Al Smith bo-came governor, "Boss Murphy (of Tammany Hall), w^s proud of his East Side boy. He wanted him to make a great name and to go places. So he didn't load him down with the spoils of victory, which normally include bad advice, patronage which means at best second-raters, and 'contracts' which mean scandals."
While I could forgive Al Smith anything, Robert Moses is another matter. This Yale graduate, famous city planner and now presi-
HUMAN RELATIONS
dent of the New York World's Fair Corporation of 1964, has been throughout his long career a center or controversy. Not too many weeks ago he and New York City's new traffic Commissioner, Mr. Barnes, were involved in an acrimonious dispute and the philosophers of the city like Lewis Mumford have often held Mr. Moses guilty of inadequacies. But for all that, he occupies a place in the political life of New York City much like that J. Edgar Hoover occupies on the national scene. Despite the criticism, they have eacii achieved a kind of political immunity in our times.
ted to come as a non-immigrant, was given treatment, cured, and then accepted as an immigrant. Eventually he was granted Canadian citizen^ ship.
JIAS-Was formed right after World War I when there was a special need to take care of post-war immigration from devastated European countries.
The organization was established by a resolution adopted
met her married brothers, sisters and little ones. She was then officially admitted to Canada, and is now re-united with her sister and has since Jjecome a Canadian citizen.
An average of 2,500 Jewish immigrants come to this country each year. During times of political unrest — as the Hungarian revolt — JIAS deals with more.
Most take easily to their new homeland, although there are some people who take longer than others to adapt to strange customs and a different pace of life. Many settle in about three   months,  while' others
look.
1 am also honor bound to say Robert Moses, .   , , .. , ,
writes a beautiful English sentence, as good i ^^^^^'^J ^.^^'^^h^el into the ... .u„ K..f v„„i,cK.c,>«.tin«,a'"msof his waiting family;
To provide legal, documen-
at the first plenary session of take about a year to absorb the Canadian Jewish Congress the measure of the new out-on March 19, 1919. First annual conference was in May 1921, and the organization was officially incorporated in August 1922.
The aims and objectives of JIAS:
To facilitate the lawful entry of Jewish immigrants into Canada;
To provide reception services, to meet all ships and trains that bring immigrants — like the JIAS attendant who
Newcomers at- the JIAS
Many of these pieople remember with graditude the friendly smile of the JIAS social worker who met them as the ship cante in, and recall how their first few months in a strange new land were made
less strange through the kindness of JIAS. Throug;h the years of service devoted to the immigrant, JIAS has earned the respect and thanks of the community, and lives up to its motto "From Immigrant to Citizen" as more and more, of the people it helps, apply for Canadian citizenship.
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as the very best in the English-speaking world. .And he not only loves k\ Smith but writes of him with candour and objectivity which teaches mc for all my suspicions, Mr. Moses and I have one supreme interest in common.
Of all the men who have tried for the Presidency and failed, I would guess that as of this writing. A! Smith will have left the deepest mark on American political Ufe. He has already been the subject of two rather m-. formal biographies and the subject of innumerably more political and social histories. I am convinced that one day a poet or a writer or an historian will take him as seriously and as lovingly as Car! Sandburg took Lincoln and wc will all be enriched for the vision.
The 'Real Mother
QUESTION: I am e.xtremely an.vious to avoid making any errors which could harm my son.
My first wife died and left me with an infant son. I have since married a girl who is a wonderful wife and mother. My son is 16 months old, but the day will soon come when 1 will have to tell him of my deceased wife. This raises many questions.
Should we attempt to hide from the boy that his "real" mother is dead? At what ago would the boy be most receptive to this news? What is the most effective way of presenting the fact that the woman he considers to be his mother is not? How does a parent judge when his child is emotionally capable of learning this information?
ANSWER: Children have; their own, buiil-iri "geiger"counters," and can sense whether there is loving intent behind parental acts. It is to this that they respond, even when they do not like what the parent says or docs.
Healthy, loving parents want to do everything possible' to make up for any loss or hurt suffered by a child and to ward off further pain..
But errors can come from over-anxiely. Doing too much too soon makes a youngster question what: is wrong with him, that so much has to be done for him. Or if the parent holds back too mlich, the child may feel^ that no one cares enough or trusts him enough to include him in family matters, to even consider the idea of keeping the death of his real mother a secret from him is to be unrealistic.
Your former wife's family must certainly' keep in touch with the child. In time, your son would begin to ask questions about these people. To lie in any area could lead only to further lies, which would be discovered soon enough by the: youngster.
This could bring him greater pain than even the hardest-truth. Because the facts are with-
DR. ROSE N. FRANZBLAU
held, death is seen as a stigma or blight which has singled him out to punish and to make him feel inferior.
When adopted children arc told about their adoption, they rarely ask questions about who their real pai-cnts were. Such ideas come to ■ them later on, and it is well to wait until tlie child asks the questions and not to answer them before they are asked. In younger years, the "real" parents are tlie ones whom the children know and love, and who love
tary and all other types of aid that the new arrival needs.
In addition, JIAS provides assistance to sponsors of immigrants, helps the new immigrant become naturalized, and has a program of social services to help in job placement training and in cases of hardship, provides food, clothing and medical treatment.
Some of the cases JIAS deals with — and successfully completes — are most complex, plc.x.
Let's open Case File B 1129-(c).
It all started with a letter post-marked Toronto. An elderly lady explained that her father — now dead — had come to Canada from Poland in 1900. He eventually became! a Canadian citizen and had' applied for immigration papers for the rest of the family who were still in Poland.
There were , many children. By some oversight — some hazy recollection — he forgot to put down th^ name of the youngest child, a little girl.
The rest of the children came to Canada — the tiny waif was left behind as Europe was plunged into war. The children grew up in Can-
them. The others, if Ihey have any existence       and married - mostly to
'U.S. citizens.
at all, are just shadowy figures that have no emotional meaning for them.
So it will be with your son. Your wife is the only mother he knows. Since he feels loved by her and lOves her in return, she is, in every sense that matters, his real mother. This will not be changed materially when he is told about the mother who bore him ph-j'Sicairy.""'*.-^ :•
The child himself will be tlic best guide as to the proper timing for imparting the facts. The questions he asks will give you your cues. He will want to be told that he was born out of love, just as he is now surrounded by love. It is usually easiest to answer these these questions when the family is together in a relaxed atmosphere and for both father and mother to participate. Held in his mother's loving arms when he is told how his fatli-. er chose her as a wife for himself and a mother to him, it can only be a most loving and rewarding experience for all , . There still seems to be some pain when you talk about your former wife's death, and perhaps even a flicker of guilt about the happiness you have subsequently achieved.-By, tlie time youi- son is old enough to ask questioiiSi your wounds, one hopes, will have healed. ; You did- not desert him when you married your present wife. Rather, you completed the circle of love by which,he is surrounded.
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Week Aug. 6th.r 1th, 1962
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