V
BREAKFAST
• ■
N001(3
The Canadian JewiA ^N^
EXEC MEET
An executive meeting of officers and'bosurd members of Sbaarei TefUlah Sisterhood was held recently at the home of Mrs. Evelyn
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Sugar. Plans were made for the annual bazaar and carhival. ;
Officers are: Evelyne Su^, president; Tille Mis-kin, Isl vice presidient;Bess Millstone, 2nd vice priesir dent; Phyllis Sugar, 3rd vice president; Ida Starkman, Syr ma Kochberg, Helen Fishbane, past priesidents; Sue Magder, immediate past president; Millie Sheff, recording secretary; MoUie Halberstadt, corresponding secretary; Anne Goodman, treasurer; Beatrice Mosco-witz, dues treasurer.
Board of governors: Sally Berman; Lil Cogan; Mary Cohen; Lil Cornfield; Helen Fishbane; Draisa Frisch-man; Anne GrafStein; Faye Handler; iSayde Jacobs; Het-tie Joseph; Frume Kasten; Fran Polishuke; Faigie Plonka; Ida Rakowsky; Mar-
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SHOW TALK
The PTA of the Associated Hebrew Schools met recently to. formulate plans,of an art show to take place in November. Mrs. A. M. Noyek is convenor. Contributions will include art from Canadian galleries as well as prints from New York and Jerusalem.
CLOSING MEET
York Chapter, B'naiB'rith Women, held its closing meeting recently. Awards were given to Kitty Glass-man and Rose Stone for raising more than $750.
Seven pins went to members for fundraising of$500; ten pins for service.
A fashion show was held. Ruth Sobel vas commentator. Refreshments were served.
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TORONTO'S BAR
MITZVA OF THE YEAR. ^ Michael Elliott L^tner, son of Albert J. and Temmy Latner of Toronto vyho became bar mitzva on June 22nd at Beth Sholom Synagogue.
QUESTION:
I ani. 21 and attended university on a scholarship, having just received my B. Sc. In Education. I have been seeing a particular boy, 24, for three years. I have known him and his fkmUy for seven years. We were neighbors in an apartment building.
My inother objects to his background, not to his personal q^itieiB. He is a graduate of a vocational high school and
after service IntheNavy, hasbeenworking as a glazier.
The main obiecUon is that his &ther Is of a different faith, is separated firom his mother, used to be a petty racketeer and had a prison record. A brother and sister married out of the faith, and a second brother, is engaged to a girl of another religion.
My mother says "You marry the fimily, and not just the boy.' My father is dead and my mother works to keep up our home for my sister and myseU. My sister will enter the sophmore year in college next Fall.
At my mother's insistence, I have been dating other boys, too, but she says that I can't like any other boy, while my mind is on this one. " ,3,
ANSWER:
The sins of the fathers should, of course, never be visited <« their children. Whatever a &tber may have been or done in the past, or whatever a young man's family is now, should certainly not be held to reflect on him. Any judgment or evaluation of an individual should be based on the qualities he possesses, not on any defects or behavior lapses in the pe<9de around him.
However, it is equally unwise to go to the other extreme and hold a person's unfortunate background to militate in his favor. People do Uds sometimes as ttte result of unconscious identification with the outcast because of the deprivations which they may have suffered in their own early lives, due to the loss of a parent, a prolonged illness, etc.
Needing love and support so desperately when tiiey are littie, when it is not forthcoming, they conclude that they are not loveablOi
Only blemished merchandise, so to speak, is fit for their ccmsumption. They
attach themselves to peoiile who are obr viously not on their level and too often far beneatti ttem. That thev fieht so hard to defend and justify their choice says they know that it lis emottooally wrong. It makes tiiem feel superior to be friend or to form an attachment to someone idioin they really consider inferior. So they accept much less than they could ge^ feeling chrated and frustrated in their heart of hearts;, despite their protests.
A powerful physical attraction, important as It may be, is not enough to assure a good marriagel It can only make its cratribution if it is part of a whole cdnsteUaUoi of positive &ctors on which a good marriage is based. Too many young peiople imajgine that it can cancel out the negatives and create a landslide in fhvor of "living bawUy ever after." This is a delusion.
In the case of this young man, there are realistically a great number of differences in your background, basic abilities and educattcHial training. Coming from a background like yours, wtere the values and morals as to fimllylife, edndiionand responsibility for loved ones are so different from his, could create an unbridgeable gap, and great and increasing strife and tensions in the marriage. That you accepted your mother's suggestion and advice to date otter boys, shows that you yourself have some l>asic douMs about what kind of a future you could have with this young man.
Perhaps you do not enjoy dating the other boys because the ideaof dating them is your mottier's, and not yours. Yon may feel oUiged to do what she says because of all she has done and even sacrificed for you. But as you must know, she was only being herself^ a loving and dedicated mother whose greatest joy comes from giving her children the inqxfftant and basic good things of life. Wluit she wants is for you to accept yourself and your superiorities of mind andcharacter,whichwere recognieed by tite special awards you were granted, and were reflected In your special achievements. ,
'A woman who plays the role of social worker to the man she chooses and whom she may even marry, sooner or later sees him as a case which she must give iq). In doing badly by herself she cannot do weU by another.
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SEPARATE KASHRUT REJECTED
Jerusalem, (JCN^. - The Jerusalem Municipality has rejected an application by Agudat Israel for.a^eparate slaughterhousie aixl separate kashmt supervisira in the city.
Councillor Rabbi Shear-Yashuv Cohen, of theNaUon-al Religtous Party, said that acceptance of tiie application would qpen the door to the formaticm of other rabbinical authorities and to separate slaughterhouses for Reform Jews.
There is a dispute between Agudat Israel and the N.R.P. which won confrol of the Jerusalem Religious Council earlier this year.
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ALTERNATIVE
Brucfe Taylor of the Montreal Star repeats this one:
Pop grew mighty suspicious of the young fellow who'd been going steady with his daughter month after month without ever mentioning marriage.
•Look here, Iwy," he finally asked, "are your intentions hcmorable or dishonorable?"
The young man beamed. "Golly, sfr, you mean I have a choice?"
ON THE GO
Horowitz: "My boy's let^ ters always send me to the dictionary since he became a Harvard undergraduate."
Goldfarb: "you're lucky. My son's letters always send me to tiie bank."
FAIR IS FAIR
Mrs. Meltzer was a proud grandma. One day she met her friend Mrs. Levy and asked, "Did I tell you about the cute thing my granddaughter said...?"
Mrs. Levy interrupted, "Before you start I warn you that I demand equal time - and I have 16 grandchildren!"
THE WINNER
Harry: "How'd you come out in that fij^t with your wife?"
Larry: "She came crawling to me on her hands and knees."
Harry: "Yeah? What did she say?"
Larry: "Come out from under that bed, youcowardi*
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TO EACH HIS OWN
by Rufhie
■;■ Happiness is ..
If you live in an apartment andgo dovm to the laundry room and find two washing machines, maybe, out of commission. Because, even ifitisaselfish thou^t, you're^ad for a change fixingthem is not your responability. All you do is use a third one.
Your blood boils when you think of the sixty dollars you had to spend the last time die motor of your own rnachine concked out. So now you laugh, dirug and dimiiss the whole thing.
«***««*•«
Happiness is...
When you take your Shabbosnap and after you get up you go into the kitchen and find all the dishes done and put away.
But that's wishful thinking. Because nothing runs away. Everything is there fust as you left it. Food's on the platter, pop botdes are all over, plates aren't even stacked, the garbage bag is brimming over. It's all there for you to do with what you want the next two hours.
My children's favorite excuse is, "You don't like how we do anything so we left it you shouldn't holler."
Nu, can you live? Go teach them, so they say you holler. ■••»»♦•.»»•'
Happiness is.:.
When you put on a dress and you discover it's loose. Oh, joy I Maybe you've lost a litde weight
But the elation is short lived. Because when you turn around, you notice a seam ripped.
Well, the feeling was nice while it lasted.
• «««*'••••
Happiness is...
When your husband brings you a present thafs really original. Because as far back as I can remember, it's always been perfume or stockings. I'm practically drenched with perfume. I'm beginning to think it's his way of saying I haveB.O.
Seriously, thou^, I guess it's the quickest thing he could come up vrith at the last moment
Stockings he knows I never have enough of. So that's always safe.
But why can't he show up with a diamond pendant or a cultured peari necklace or real gold hoop earrings or a measly mink jacket or a solid sterling a'lver tea set?
I hope he reads this.
• • ••«•«**
Happiness is...
When the kids feel high. They love you and cooperate for a change. But they go in for their own brand of humor. Like, "Mommy has a pretty face. She'd be a knockout if she lost forty pounds." Or, "Did you say that actress is your ^? She looks much younger."
Nice children. Sometimes you think you could choke
diem. Only thou^ts of the electric chair restrain you.
U ' ********* Happiness IS...
When you can get thai extra dollar above and beyond your allowance.
But you finagle and manage well enough. On Passover, for instance, you arrange for your husband to pay for the ^ceri^ you're shopping for ten days in advance. He afffees but doesn't give you the v^ekly allowance.
Of course, you don't mind. Because you've told your grocer to add whatever you owe him onto that bill.
So now you're free and clear and out of debt
-•»♦*♦•»••
Happiness is a million things. Most of all, you are glad the family's well and they swear that you're the pivot that keeps diem going.
(Copyright CJN 1968)
, 1
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