The Canadian Jewish News, Friday, February 6^ 1970 - Page 7
The lighter Side of Israel
by Ephraim Kishon
ALL CANADIAN RIGHTS RESERVED
Kistada
Tel Aviv-"Astiff-necked people"— that is what the Almighty called us,'hinting that we are stubborn as mules. For 5,0(30 years, they wanted us to give up our faith and we did not oblige. For 2,000 years they tried to make us settle down elsewhere and here we are back in Jerusalem. Now they want " us to give up-smoking.
"Pardon me, sir, have you got a cigarette?"
"Sorry. I've stopped smoking. I read those shocking reports injthe papers."
"How did you manage?"
"It's all a question of will powerj At first 1 thought 1 would go out of my mind.
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After all, it's rather nasty to read day after day that you are headed for lung can-, cer and stomach aches and hemoglobin and all that. On the day the Jerusalem Post carried the reportof theU.S. Public Health Service on the-dangers of excessive smoking, 1 was seized by panic and there and then made up my- mind to stop reading newspapers."
"Good idea!"
"Wait! I held out for a whole week — not even.the_ headlines, nothing! But in the middle of the second week I felt that unless 1 read a paper right away, I'd go stark, raving mad. After all, you can't cut yourself off from the world completely, can you? One evening, 1 broke down, went over to the neighbors' and begged them to lend me yesterday's paper. I devoured it. The first newspaper in more than a week!"
"I can imagine."
"Wait! 1 turned to the inner pages and the first thing my eyes fell on was the report of the British Ministry of Health. It knocked me flat. They said that every man who
smokes, more than 30 cigarettes a day is bound to lose: his masculinity, or some-T thing, I smoke two packs a day," "Hmmm ...
On the first day of the cure I still found it necessary to burn the paper so as not to break my oath and read about the hazards of smoking.
"I realized that I hadtodo .something drastic, otherwise I'd sink deeper and deeper into this nightmare. 'Tostop reading newspapers entirely ' "won't do.' I said to myself. 'I'll have to break away from the reports gradually!' With, that, the struggle started.
But after a few days, it became easier, I read the news
carefully and tried just to. skip through the inside pages.
But one night while reading a magazine in bed the vice gripped me again: my eyes fell on the mortality chart drafted by the Weizmann Institute. It was a terrific: temptation. Sir! I was dying to read! I bit my lips to shreds, pushed a pillow into my mouth, but I did not read a word of the report!" "I envy you, so help mel" "It was tough, but nowl'm all right. Nowadays, iflseea report in the paper, believe me, I simply ignore it. I'm rid altogether of newspaper reports. And ever since, I feel wonderful, as if I had been reborn."
yAWCOUVER BOUND.- A group of the more than sixty members of the Quebec Hadassah delegation waiting for their CP Airplane at the Montreal International Airport. The Biennial Convention which was held in Vancouver attracted Hadassah delegates from all over Canada.
'ISRAEL'S MOST UNUSUAL IMMIGRANT"
HUMAN RELATIONS
The Men in Her Life
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Haifa (JCNS). - Israel's most unusual immigrant -in the view of Jewish Agency officials, who have dealt with hundreds of thousands over the years - arrived here to settle with his wife and three children.
He is the former Mr. Dieter von Schwarz, 30, a member of a noble German Protestant family, now known as Gershon Ben-Abraham. He is an architect by profession. He and his wife and children became proselytes in 1968.
Ben-Abraham said that he intended to live as an Ortho-
dox Jew although politically, he was Left-wing. Among his ancestors, he slated, there had been a number of Jews converted to Christianity. One of them, Gottlieb Suarez, wrote a constitution for Frederick the Great of Prussia, and another wrote the Austrian penal code for the Emperor Franz Josef.
He took to studying Judaism after what the Nazis did to the Jews, Ben-Abraham said, and was converted by Rabbi Itzhak Grunwald, of Munich,, after being circumcised at. the Jewish hospital in Amsterdam.
Recipe for the week
BROCCOLI IN BROWN BUTTER SAUCE
1
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3 tablespoons butter 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Wash broccoli and trim off the tough portion of each stalk. Place in a saucepan with one inch of boiling water and salt. Cover. Bring to a boil and cook 15 minutes or until crisp-tender, lifting the cover two or three times as the vegetable cooks. Drain and place in a serving dish.
Meanwhile. brown .butter lightly in a saucepan. Remove from heat and add lemon juice and pepper. Pour over broccoli, and serve immediately.
Yield: 6 servings.
QUESTION:
My husband and I v/ere married when I was six months.pregnant. He resisted until I put my foot down and said that either he would marry me or I would throw him out of my life and he would never see his child.
I have a son, 5, from my first marriage. He was spoiled by my mother and myself in order to make up for the inhuman treatment he got from my first husband.
He is a very impressionable child. My new husband doesn't seem to be able to cope with the problem of a 5-year old. He harasses him and constantly makes side remarks that he is stupid and not normal.
We fight a lot about the older child. He constantly says he will send him to his father, who now lives out West, and hasn't sent a cent for his support in almost two years.
ANSWER:
The way a mother rears a little boy depends to a large degree on her estimate of the male sex.
If her experiences vrith men have been unhappy or disappointing, she may take out her resentments and hostilities on the little boy, by being overpermissive or much too punitive.
In a remarriage, even under the best circumstances, comparisons are bound to be made with the past. At times, when disagreements arise, the new one is found inferior and at fault.
When there are children of the former marriages, there are naturally more adjustments to be jnade. A child is a concrete reminder of the-mate's former marriage. The new husband may be more accepting of the child of thfe former mate died. But when the real father is still alive, especially if he
DR. ROSE N. FRANZBLAU
doesn't contribute adequately to the child's support, the new husband miay resent carrying all the responsibilities for a child that isn't his, while not having full authority or getting enough love and respect. .
He may then use the child to get even with the wnfe when she denies him his rightful due in any area. The wife may use the child, especially if it is a boy, to incite either anger or love in her present husband, by becoming overattentive to her child.
Despite the hesitancies and reluctance of your husband to get married, both of you really wanted the baby. Pregnancies like this are not accidental, even though not consciously planned for. He probably felt that yoii were using the baby to get him to marry you, as he probably now feels that you are using the baby to gain your own ends, instead of regarding it as his gift of love to you.
To require your husband to cope with your son's problem, in addition to his own guilt, is perhaps more than he can take.
Your attitude towards males needs to be examined. You seem to treat them like little children who have to be told what to do, and must be threatened vvith dire punishment, if they disobey.
It would be good to face up to your psychological problems and work them out with an expert, so that you do not repeat in this marriage the behavior that led to a divorce in your first one. Getting your way with your present husband will not resolve your problems or improve your over-all relationships.
When you take on full responsibility for your.own behavior and do not blame others for your mistakes, you will stop' making them.
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BETH TZEDEC
Mr. Peter Newman, edi-, tor-in-chief of the Toronto Daily Star, will be the guest speaker at the Annual Luncheon Meeting of the Combined Sisterhoods, February 10th, at Shaarei Sho-mayim Synagogue, 470 Glen-cairn Avenue. His topic will be "Israel".
The Sisterhoods of the Conservative, Reform and Orthodox Congregations are the sponsoring organizations of the meeting — BethTzedec Congregation (Conservative) Shaarei Shomayirii (Orthodox), Holy Blossom Temple (Reform).
NEW MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL The second of, the Health. , Education Lecture Series of. the Women's Auxiliary, New Mount .Sinai Hospital, will take place in the auditorium of the hospital on Wednesday, February 25th.
Dr. Ira Pollock, specialist in .internal medicine, will act. as moderator of a discussion entitled "Drugs - Their Use and Abuse." Other participants wiU be Df. Irving Rother, specialist in internal
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medicine and Dr. Alexander Bbnkalo, psychiatrist with the Mental Retardation Center.
BETH TIKVAH
Beth TikvahSynagogue held an involvement night for new members recently at the home of Dr. & Mrs. Sam Poz-ner, 25 Ruden Cres. Don Mills. The neW members who j attended were: Mr. & Mrs.' Phil Wener, Mr. & Mrs. Norman Gardner, Mr. & Mrs. Paul Yanover-y Dr. & Mrs. Victor iZuck, Mr. & Mrs. Arnold Borts, Mr. Frank Cap-peH. Also present were Rabbi and Mrs.: Feder, the President of the Synagogue-Mr. Bernard Abrams - and his executive, and members of the Board of Governors. The social evening, was organized by Mr. Norman Stern - the first vice president of the Synagogue and involvement chairman. ;
BETH JACOB
Beth Jacob Sisterhood held their annual Melavah Mal-kah last week. Mr. Wilfred Schwarz was thechairmanof the event.
BETH DAVID
Rabbi Albert Pappenheim will review Isaac Bashevis Singer's '"In My Father's Court" at the B'nai Israel Beth D a.v Ld. Sisterhood's general meeting on Tuesday afternoon, February 10th. On February 12th, that Synagogue's Book Review Circle
will hear Mrs. Joel Lichten discuss Roger Kahn's "The Passionate People."
NER ISRAEL
The Ner^lsrael Women's Auxiliary held a meeting recently at the Yeshiva at 625 Finch Avenue. West.
President Mrs. Ann Bot-nick called upon Rebitzen Weinberg to open the meeting with "Divrei Torah".
Mrs. Sarah Goodman, Mrs. Nancy Silver andSueMagder Patroriess are conveners for the March 8th tea. Mrs. Helen Beck won the draw for a trip to Israel.
The Koilel wives presented a Cantata - "Israeli Treat". Participating were: Mrs. T. Becker, I. Blumeiifeld (guitar), M. Blumenfeld (narrator), C. Freidman, E. Mi- . shaan (bongo drums), B. Schulman (chalil-tambpur-ine), B. Weisbord (guitar).
A hearty Mazel Toy was extended to President Mrs. Botnick upon the forthcoming Bar Mitzvah of her son.
ADATH ISRAEL.
The Sisterhood general meeting will be held Tuesday February 10th. Guest speaker. Prof. Arthur Kru-gerwill talk on Rebellion on Campus.
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Nutrition In The News
What you choose to put into your shopping cart affects your own and your family's health.   Eating for health is eating for beauty. Yes there/are agerfighting foods. . - v ■      ; ■ ^Watural Health Products 38 Mattson Road, Crang Plaza, Downsview^ 24^-4631 ' (Closed Mondays)
BETH TIKVAH
The Sisterhood will hold an Age of Aquarius evening Saturday, February 14th, at Northwood Golf and Country Club, Sheppard Avenue, East, with an antique auction, mod fashion show and dancing.
PRffiE OF ISRAEL
The Pride of Israel Sr. Ladies' Auxiliary held their 1970 installation of officers recently. A donation of $500 was-made to the Israel Emer-\gency' Fund. Chairlady was Mrs. F.-Shulman. \ .
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SIGNS OF OLD AGE
by Ruth'ie
":" You're getting old if, one fine morning, you grab for anything getting out of bed and cravi^l into the kitchen like someone who's ready for the box. And you don't even care. ,
What the heck! You'll get the kids off to school and fuss later. You may even want to go back to bed. So why primp?
As for looking just so for your mate . . .Well, after so many years he ought to be able to take it, especially when he looks a wreck before shaving.
Then when you do get dressed, you figure: so the stockings have runs. So what? And your skirt is too long. So what? Good enough for picking weeds.
Then you're surprised when the kids shout in unison,
"Mommy, we're embarrassed. What if someone sees you?" —
The khootzpa (nerve)! ™
* * *
You're getting old when you glance through your wardrobe and unexcitedly figure: so most of the junk's five years old at least. Well ,a hem here, a colored neckerchief there will perk it up? Anyway the kids need ...
You feel good because, like a real mama, you're sacrificing. After all, it's their day.
So what happens?
"In that thing you're going out? Ha, ha. Look at Mommy. I wouldn't be caught dead like that. Nobody's mother," more soberly, "dresses like that. My frjfends'll laugh."
And that's the thanks.
* * *
You're getting old when the children exclaim, "You always tell us what we shouldn't do by your
experiences when you were young. Well, let us learn
from our own mistakes."
It just doesn't help when you say you want to
spare them a couple of heartaches. And you know
exactly how Mama used to feel when you spoke like
that.
All you get for your efforts is, "Ma, don't be a wet blanket."
* * *
You know you're in the old age bracket when you don't notice any changes. To you your husband still is your handsome Lothario. But to the brood? Surely they love him but they're not bashful at all.
"Daddy, get those suspenders off. I'll feeL awful if my friends see them. Who wears those things anyway? No other father dresses like that. You're doing it just for spite.
"And don't spit in the street. And don't talk so loud. And walk straight, you look like Grandpa, he should live to 120, And don't worry so much about
us, Artd ..." It could go on forever.
* * *
You both feel old age is creeping up when, at eight in the evening, he's snoring away in the easy chair and you can hardly keep your eyes open to watch TV. And years ago you wouldn't think of Calling
it a day before midnight.
* * ♦
And, of course, how young can you feel when everyday yc)u discover another ache you have to learn to live with?
All you cynics who have an answer — just you wait!
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