ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON wrote that marriage is a field of battle and not a bed of roses. I think he ought to have written " Marriage is a bed of battle and not a field of roses !"
Almost the first piece of furniture an engaged couple acquire is their marriage bed. This has been so ever since the groom went out and skinned a
bear, o'r whatever other indijjen-Qus creature was foolish enough to get in the way of his flint-stone or arrowhead.
Even then there must have been some nasty nooUthic rages when one or other of the
{)air turned over, taking too arge a share of bearskin over to his or. hor side of the cave floor.
It's formidable, tliough. the way love brushes aside the habits of a lifetime literally overnight. After all. most young people nowadays not only "don't share a bed with a sibling, but even have a room of their own from birth onwards.
When my own marriage day approached 1 went to meet it with a blithe and merry heart. I left behind a large single bed^ where I had tossed and turned,' read into the small hours in the full glare of a 60-watt bulb, and used as niany or.,asJ[e»:xovexs., as 1 felt were indicated by current ilimatic conditions
But it wasn't long before I discovered that my husband was what is arfectionalely referred to as a 'chilly mortal." The only way lor him to get warm, apart from sleeping in a long itchv army sweater, was to pile
a heap of hea\y blankets vertically upon his torso.
This heap used to topple over and threaten me witli asphyxiation every time he did a full turn, which was often. We did eventually develop a balancing act which would have done us credit   under  the   Big Top
Which proves that love will find a way. though twin beds would have been a better route to sound sleep.
Another point about double beds which puts a strain on the marriage relationship is getting in and out of them. Now getting in or out of a single bed is a ritual which can have no adverse repercussion on any other person. Not so with the other sort.
If one's partner is an inveterate getter inner or outer, then the most devoted spouse will find it hard to suffer the icy blasts in silence. And even if it's summer or there's central heating, the constant rocking of the bed will either make one furious or quasi sea-sick.
And speaking. of sickness leads one to colds. To be in the same room with a sneezer, blower and cougher is a very
§reat trial, let alone in the same ed. One has to cling to the counterpane not to get shot out on to the floor. . ^ -. « „ A chilblain scratcher Is another hazard In bed, especially if one is filling in a diary or trying to catch up with correspondence.
Threshers about witii arms or legs are lethal, and one should always ask a prospective bride or groom (tactfully, of course) if
Vita
arrives In
Here l<i a photograph of a, silver spice box made in Poland in the ninelrenth century. It is in the form of a pear on a vinr-slia|)ecl Blem
he or she is an aggressive dreamer.
If so, do get some safety-bells fitted to the headboard, which will usually prevent serious iniuries.
Twin beds are, of course, becoming more and more popular—though often one comes across thought-provoking advertisements, offering "Twin beds for sale—one brand new. . . ." Then one realises that, despite the inconveniences, even the hazards, of sharing a double bed. married couples will always suffer from cold feet, and yearn for the close comfort of a warm pair of legs on which to toast them.
It might not always be possible, in this tough old world, to have your cake and eat it too. but it is possible to have double and single beds at the same time. Just make up the mattresses of twin beds in tlie ordinary way, but machine together two top sheets, and two blankets, making a huge double sheet and blanket.
After that each partner can fold as many or as few covers on his or her side of the king-size bed as comfort decrees. Two l>edspreads can be joined to make one big one. Fidgeting has much less nuisance value, because the mattresses are separately sprung, but feet can be toasted' with no trouble at all:
And with sound slurabor assured, there's much more hope of a permanent love matcJi.
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ASKING FOR PUNISHMENT
The Canadian Jewish News-Friday, March 12,1971-Page 7
II. IKE I. FIMZIIU
Poor Papa
-byR«lW«-~-
QUESTION: We have three cWldren, two sons, 25 and 17, and a daughter, 19. Our daughter went steady for 3 years with a young man she met In high school. My huslMujd and I disapproved of him, and finally she saw him for what he was. She broke off six months ago.
A brilliant and accelerated student, she dropped out of college In her second year, after making the Dean's list Her l)by friend told her school wasn't worthwhile. My daughter helped him with his cour^, even ttiough she had dropped out.
We urge her tcTretum to school at night or join some group. She says she Isn't ready to circulate. Now U she goes anv-where she wants her younger brother, my husband or myself to accompany her. My friends have tried to fix her up. After the first date she refuses to see them again.
Our only problem In her pre-adolcs-cent. days was that she was always finding money. When I finally confronted .her, she admitted she had taken it from my purse.
Her older brother recently married. He and his wife attend graduate school. Her sister-in-law Is like the sister shf never had.
ANSWER: When a person cannot at* ccpt her superior abilities or attractive* ness, the probability Is that these assets^ were never recognized or appreciated by her parents.
Tills can sometimes be a gross misinterpretation of the facts. Competitiveness writh the other siblings may liave given her the feeling that the older one always came first and the younger one got the rewards of being the baby.
Sometimes, the first bom In the family Is held up as an example for the others .to follow. A girl whose older brother Is a superior student may want to get a man like blm. But when she Is required to emulate him, as to achievements and a sense of responsibility, she feels inferior and less feminine. She Is then thrown into conflict about who she Is and what she wants to become. She may wind up rejecting males altogether, or choosing someone
who is utterly Inferior to her. That your daughter felt nieglected and . deprived emotionally vvas evidenced In her stealing. She not only took, symbolically, the gifts of love she felt were being withheld from her, but by saying g  that she had found the money, again and again, she was alerting you to this tact. She knew you would finally question her veracity and was hoping you would be shocked when told the true facts. By punishing you in this way, •he was asking to be punished.
Wanting somebody to accompany her when she goes out transmits the message that she feels tfjone and frightened when left to her ownTdevlces.
Fixing her up-with dates only plays Into these feelings of Inferiority. The so-called Interest on the part of your friends Is not seen as kindness or consideration, but rather as publicizing that she Is a failure.
It may be hard lor your daughter to understand why her .parents did not take a firm stand for such a long time, despite the warning signals which she sent out continuously. This applied to her stealing, as well as her going with this boy for three years. Dropping out of - school for no reason was a( third warning signal that went unheeded.
♦ * * IVhat your daughter no doubt wants now Is to have you, the parents, make her face up to the fact that she has some psychological, problems, and do something about them. Neither sympathy, suffering along with her, nor time itself will clear up any of these fears and conflicts which are holding her back from fulfilling herself. Psychological counseling should be made available to your daughter.
If you and her father feel that she would only see this suggestion as evidence of another disappointment in her, and would not accept it, then perhaps her older brother, whom she respocts and admires so much, could do it. But if nothing else works, you and your husband might get some professional guidance as to how to present this to your daughter as a gift of love ami concern, which she would accept.
TORONTO WOMEN'S
PIONEER WOMEN
Pioneer Women are holding their annual "Spiritual Adopt-a-Child" Dinner in aid of this project on Tuesday, March 16th, .;6:30 p.m. at Sbaarei. Sbofpayim Synagogue. Attending will be individuals who have personally adopted a child through Pioneer Women, representa-tives of organizations throughout the city whose members have contributed to "Adopt-a-Child" as.weU as members of Pioneer Women who all contribute through their clubs. Three hundred dollars will help to care for a child in one of Pioneer Women's children's homes in Israel lor one year.
Guest speaker will l}e Mr. Emanuel Shimoni, Counsellor at the Embassy of Israel, Ottawa. Guest artists are the "Choralaires". Convenors are Mrs. Maxwell Leroy and Mrs. Joseph Mirsky.
TEA AND FASHION SHOW Shaarel Tefillah Sisterhood will hold its annual tea and fashion show On Wednesday eveningj March 17th at the synagogue. Guest vocalist will be Herman Frances. ,
fieclie for the week
Z\}ftmXi CHICKEN
When a young man marries, he is imaware of the countless pitfalls awaiting hini.
Pity the inexperienced newlyweds.. It seems like -yesterday when the stronger half vowed to take the little woman for better 6r for worse. In a short while he is presented with a sqiialling infant. Who, do you think, gives it the 2 A3I. feeding?
"Honey", wifie reaches over and nudges, "tlie baby's crying."
"Huh?" honey resumes his snoring.
"I said 'the baby's crying'."
"I hear. It's loud enough to wake the dead."
"He's hungry."
"So feed him", hubby answers.
"I'm so tired. The~doctor said I need plenty of rest.*"
Ignoring his better judgement and feeling he's stuck forever with 2 A2I. feedings, our new daddy bravely faces the inevitable.
I doubt whether there's a family whose children haven't heard at some timejitr other the classic remarii,
"Wait! You'll get it when your father comes home!"
Poor papa! No sooner does the imsuspecting, tired, disheveled, disgruntled fellow return home from a tough day's work, he must assume the proportions of an ogre.
"Dear," mama whines, "they Were so difficult today."
"Daddy, we didn't do nothing."
"It's 'anything'. Anyway, why drag ME into this?"
"They're terribly spoiled. They should be punished," from m^a.
"So why pick on me?" papa holds out. "How can 1 make friends with them if I always have to scold them?"
"Yah!" small fry leer.
Mama loses a round.
Papa's victorj", however, is short lived.
Another time, just as our breadwinner pulls out of tli£ driveway, he hears above the sound of the motor,
"Daddy! Where are you going?"
"Someplace."
"When'll you be back?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"I need my allowance."
"Get it from Mommy."
"She has no money."
"She never has," resignedly.
The things papa has to cope with besides making a living!. Is it any wonder the dear sometimes pauses for a bracer or two before going home? After all, he must fortify himself for whatever may come. Even then his conscience nags,
"Better htuny. You'll miss the 5.10. And, oh boy, if you do! ..."
"Shucks!" papa decides. "Rather skip a drink than face mama's cross-examination about why I missed the train!"
Do you think papa's problems end when the children marry? Think again.
Some evening, when mama is at a meeting, the house is nice and quiet and papa is just settling down in front of the TV, the phone rings.
"Hi, Dad. We're faced with an emergency and we have no baby-sitter. How about watching TV here?"
Poor papa, indeed!       (Copyright North American Press)
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There really isn't anything better than chicken to serve as the main dish of a dinner party. It can be ready portioned. It can be frozen. And it is good tempered enough — encasserole--tokeephot 'for tardy gnesti;
A FEW POINTERS
For 8 guests it's better to serve quarters of 3-lb. birds (dressed weight) than eighths of a larger bird... the portioning is much simpler.
The sauce in which the browned chicken joints are cooked must simmer very slowly, or the bird will be dry.
If the casserole is to be frozen, cook the chicken for ten minutes less than usuaL The tenderizing will be completed when the dish is reheated.
Here is a delicious recipe for 8 — the average dinner party number. For family eating, halve all the ingredients and use one bird.
INGREDIENTS 2 chickens, each weighing 3-3-1/2 lb. net, cut into 4; 2 oi flour; 2 level teaspoons salt; 1/2 level teaspoon pepper; 8 tablespoons oil; 1 finely chopped onion; 1 finely diced green pepper; 2 crushed cloves of garlic; 2 level teaspoons curry powder; good pinch of dried thyme; 14-oz. cans of tomatoes, sieved or liquidized; 6 level tabie^ spoons currants; a. few; blanched toasted almonds-boiled rice.
METHOD
Coat the chicken joints in the floiir seasoned with the salt add pepper. Heat the oil in a large frying pan, add the chicken and brown quickly on all sides. Remove to a casserole or roasting dish. Drain off all but 2 tablespoons of oU.
To this fat, add the vegetables, garlic, curry and thyme. Stir well to amalgamate the drippings at. the bottom of the pan. Cook for 3-4 minutes, imtil the onion
has softened, then add the tomatoes, and bubble for 5 minutes to concentrate the sauce. Pour over the chicken, cover and put in a moderate oven (Gas No. 4, 350 degrees F) for 45 minutes. Stir in the currantsrS minutes before the end.
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